December 31, 2008. Happy End of 2008!
13 more chapters of Froissart are proofed.
The rest of Rude Rural Rhymes by Bob Adams, who was an agricultural extension teacher in New York State, is online, except for the Table of Contents.
One of the poems that Tory liked, and agreed with, is Morpheus and Me. In it, Adams has a nice take on Edison, the inventor of electric light, who apparently touted its use as a means to sleep less and work more. Adams doesn't agree with this philosophy of work.
Another of Joe Miller's Jests (collected by Mark Lemon), p. 76:
CCCXLVII. — CAMBRIDGE ETIQUETTE.
Cambridge etiquette has been very happily caricatured by the following anecdote. A gownsman, one day walking along the banks of the Cam, observing a luckless son of his Alma Mater in the agonies of drowning, “What a pity,” he exclaimed, “that I have not had the honor of being introduced to the gentleman; I might have saved him;” and walked on, leaving the poor fellow to his fate.
Sadly, I would believe this story if it was told of far too many University and Medical School professors in the U.S. today that I know.
December 26, 2008. 20 more chapters of Froissart are proofed. That makes 259 chapters proofed at least twice. The last chapters, Volume II, chapters 130-138, for the first huge book are online, but these, along with the last 100 are not finally proofed! (Tory is home for the holidays and distraction probably wreaked a little havoc with my marginal proofing abilities.)
Acadia, or a Month with the Blue Noses, by Frederic S. Cozzens, is proofed for the third time.
100 more jokes from Mark Lemon's Jest Book, from the pirated version called Joe Miller's Jest Book are up. He was an early editor for Punch magazine in the 1800's. Tory picked the color scheme for the pages — her favorite color combo — since I decided I didn't like the one I had picked out. An example of one that is oh-so-apropos for our day:
CDXXXVIII. — THE REASON WHY.
A man said the only reason why his dwelling was not blown away in a late storm was, because there was a heavy mortgage on it.
Also online is a hopeful, happy fairy tale: The Lucky Coin, translated from the Portuguese of Gonzalo Fernandez Francoso.
Another fairy tale follows it, one with a satiric twist: The Enchanted Whistle, by Alexandre Dumas.
In case you were wondering if Lord Byron had a sense of humor, from Parton's Humorous Poetry, p. 568; here is :
ON A CARRIER WHO DIED OF DRUNKENNESS.
by Lord George Gordon Noel Byron
John Adams lies here, of the parish of Southwell,
A carrier who carries his can to his mouth well;
He carried so much, and he carried so fast,
He could carry no more — so was carried at last;
For the liquor he drank, being too much for one,
He could not carry off — so he's now carrion.
By the way, the book with this poem was A Present from a very nice guy named Gene at Hopewell Books, in Grafton, Massachusetts, who finds the most interesting books and combines it with the best qualities in an antiquarian bookseller: courtesy, kindness, promptness, efficiency and the personal touch.
December 18, 2008. Online (and proofed) is the rest of the book, including chapters, with realistic drawings from Beautiful Buildings in France & Belgium, Including many which have been destroyed during the war. Reproductions in Colour and Monochrome frrm rarer old Prints and Drawings, by and after Prout, Boys, Coney, W. Callow, David Roberts, C. Wild and Others, with Descriptive Notes by C. Harrison Townsend, F.R. I. B. A.; New York: The Hubbell Publishing Co.; 1916:
Online Introduction to the text,
Frontispiece, Title, and Preface by Townsend,
List of Plates (the table of contents),
Brussels: Hôtel de Ville (Benoist: after N. Chapuy),
Brussels: Church of St. Gudule (G. Simonau),
Caen: Church of St. Pierre (T. S. Boys),
Calais: Hôtel de Ville (J. Coney),
Dieppe: Street Scene (T. S. Boys),
Dieppe: Church Interior (David Roberts, R.A.),
Ghent: Street Scene (S. Prout),
Ghent: Château des Comtes (T. S. Boys),
Ghent: The Belfry (T. S. Boys),
Ghent: Church of St. Nicholas (W. Callow, R.W.S.),
Ghent: Hôtel de Ville (W. Clarkson Standfield, R.A.),
Laon: Cathedral (T. S. Boys),
Liège: Palais de Justice (S. Prout),
Liège: Palais de Justice (W. Clarkson Stanfield, R.A.),
Louvain: Hôtel de Ville (G. Simonau),
Malines: kraenstrate (S. Prout),
Malines: Cathedral from the Grand' Place (S. Prout),
Namur: The Old Citadel (W. Clarkson Stanfield, R.A.),
Northern France: Old Courtyard (T. S. Boys),
St. Omer: Abbey of St. Bertin (J. Coney),
Paris: La Sainte-Chapelle (T. S. Boys),
Paris: Church of St. Séverin (T. S. Boys),
Paris: St. Etienne-du-Mont (T. S. Boys),
St. Quentin: Hôtel de Ville (Benoist),
Rheim: Cathedral, West Front (G. Simonau),
St. Riquier: The Abbey Church (G. Simonau),
Rouen: Church of St. Ouen (N. Chapuy),
Rouen: Cathedral, South Entrance (C. Wild),
Rouen: Cathedral, South Entrance (G. Simonau),
Rouen: Church of St. Laurent (T. S. Boys),
Senlis: Cathedral, North Transept (N. Chapuy),
Soissons: Street Scene (T. S. Boys),
Ypres: The Cloth-Hall (J. Coney),
Ypres: Cathedral, Interior(J. Coney),
Whew!
December 16, 2008. Since I know some very nice, very smart people who actually speak Latin, Andrew Smith, (Attalus.org), Bill Thayer, (LacusCurtius), Roger Pearse, of the (Tertullian Project), and David Whitehead, (Senior Editor of the Suda Online), I thought that they might like a poem (and understand it better) written in the days when most students studied Latin. As they report the Latin is not totally correct, a few mistakes in it, though, are purposeful to help the English sense, I suspect. This poem was meant to make them laugh back then. It might still work! It's from Hints from Squints, by Henry R. Pattengill; p. 20-21:
A CATACLASM.
A cat sedabat on our fence,
As laeta as could be;
Her vox surgebat to the skies,
Canebate merrily.
My clamor was of no avail,
Tho' clare did I cry,
Consepexit me with mild reproof,
And winked her alter eye.
Quite vainly jeci boots, a lamp,
Some bottles, and a book;
Ergo, I seized my pistol, et
My aim cum cura took.
I had six shots, dixi, "Ye gods,"
May I that felis kill;
Quamquam, I took six of her lives,
The other three sang still.
The felis sang with major vim,
Tho' man's aim was true;
Conatus sum, putare quid
Intonitru I'd do.
A scheme advenit to my head,
Scivi, 't would make her wince, —
I sang! Et then the hostis fled,
Non eam ridi since.
In order to have some more pictures of medieval buildings, besides castles, to illustrate Froissart's history, I have linked many of the cities he mentioned to some examples. Online (and proofed) are these chapters, with realistic drawings from Beautiful Buildings in France & Belgium, Including many which have been destroyed during the war. Reproductions in Colour and Monochrome frrm rarer old Prints and Drawings, by and after Prout, Boys, Coney, W. Callow, David Roberts, C. Wild and Others, with Descriptive Notes by C. Harrison Townsend, F.R. I. B. A.; New York: The Hubbell Publishing Co.; 1916:
Abbeville: Rue de Rivage (T. S. Boys),
Abbeville: Church of St. Wulfran (G. Simonau),
Amiens: Cathedral, West Front (C. Wild),
St. Amand: Abbey (T. S. Boys),
Antwerp: Street and Cathedral (S. Prout),
Antwerp: Cathedral, West Front (G. Simonau),
Antwerp: Hôtel de Ville (J. Coney),
Antwerp: Interior of St. André (Jos. Nash),
Arras: Hôtel de Ville (T. S. Boys),
Beauvais: Transept of Cathedral (G. Simonau),
Bergues: The Belfry (J. Coney),
Bruges: Les Halles and Belfry (S. Prout.),
Bruges: Les Halles and Belfry (J. Coney),
Bruges: St. Sauveur, Choir Chapel (Jos. Nash).
December 13, 2008. Ten more chapters (110-119) of Volume II of Froissart's Chronicles are now online. Another 10 chapters of Froissart are finally proofed. That means I am still around 200 chapters behind in proofreading !
The Abridged Version of Classical Geography, by H. F. Tozer is online, from the Literature Primer Series. It is not finally proofed, but it is usable.
It's short and sweet (for geography anyway), and it gives a good idea of the ancient landscape of Europe and the Middle East as seen by the Classical Authors who lived in it and wrote about it.
And to balance all that war and topography, a startling and strange Fairy Tale by the Victorian feminist, the lover of Chopin:
Fairy Dust, translated from the French of George Sand is online, from the The Golden Fairy Book. It is proofed.
And from Hints From Squints, 1905, by Henry R. Pattengill; p. 34:
[A few more] CONUNDRUMS.
If a boy should lose his knee, where could he get another? At the butcher shop, where they keep kidneys.
What's the difference between a mouse and an interesting young lady? One harms the cheese, the other charms the hes.
How long can a goose stand on one leg? Try it, and see.
Which is the happiest of vowels? "i" for 'tis in the middle of bliss, while "e" is in hell, and all the others are in purgatory.
December 10, 2008. Ten more chapters (100-109) of Volume II of Froissart's Chronicles are now online. Another 20 chapters of Froissart are finally proofed. That means I am still around 200 chapters behind in proofreading !
And from Hints From Squints, 1905, by Henry R. Pattengill; p. 33:
CONUNDRUMS.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What's the greatest surgical operation recorded? Lansing, Michigan.
What is the difference between a barber and a sculptor? One curls up and dyes, the other makes faces and busts.
What is the difference between an apple and a young lady? One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.
December 7, 2008. The first 100 Chapters, Volume II of Froissart's Chronicles are now online. I just put up 80 more chapters, but they are only partially proofed. Another 20 chapters of Froissart are finally proofed. That means I am now only 200 chapters behind in proofreading !
The Prince with the Hand of Gold, translated from the Servian is online, from the The Golden Fairy Book. It is proofed, that sort of thing is a snap.
This fairy tale is very similar, but not as funny, as The Story of Vasilisa With the Golden Tress and Ivan the Pea, a Russian fairy tale, translated by Esther Singleton, in The Goldenrod Fairy Book. That one is on this site also.
And from Hints From Squints, 1905, by Henry R. Pattengill; p. 123:
CULTURED OWLS.
'Tis said that Boston owls are so precise in their language that they change the ordinary owl call, and make it: "To-whom, to-whom, to-whom!"
and on the same page:
NOT ACCORDING TO CUSHING.
Hay fever does not follow parliamentary rules, for the eyes and the nose both have it.
December 4, 2008. Proofed line-by-line another 20 chapters of Froissart! Finally. Put up another 20 chapters from Book 2, Volume I. These chapters are only partially proofed though, and the pictures aren't there yet.
An Italian Fairy Tale, called Three Brother Beasts, from the Golden Fairy Book is online and proofed. The translator is uncredited, though.
Online, too is The Blue Cat, by Daniel Dare, a pretty funny (relatively) modern fairy tale printed in the Strand Magazine, in England in 1891, translated from the French. It made its way into The Golden Fairy Book, as well. The translator is not credited in this one either. If anybody who knows anything about Daniel Dare, please let me know.
And from The New Pun Book, 1906, p. 113:
"Miss Prim is a very proper young lady."
"Yes; she wouldn't even accompany a young man on the piano without a chaperone."
December 3, 2008. Margaret of Navarre, the 16th century French noblewoman, and author, had some good words to say. Some made it into Just Being Happy, A Little Book of Happy Thoughts, edited by Edwin Osgood Grover, for The Good Cheer series of small books, New York: The Algonquin Publishing Company; 1913, pp. 41:
RECIPE FOR A HAPPY LIFE
Three ounces are necessary, first of patience,
Then of repose and peace; of conscience
A pound entire is needful:
Of pastimes of all sorts, too,
Should be gathered as much as the hand can hold;
Of pleasant memory and of hope three good drachms
There must be at least. But they should moistened be
With a liquor made from true pleasures which rejoice the heart.
Then of love's magic drops a few —
But use them sparingly, for they may bring a flame
Which naught but tears can drown.
Grind the whole and mix therewith of merriment an ounce
To even. Yet all this may not bring happiness
Except in your orisons you lift your voice
To Him who holds the gift of health.
Margaret of Navarre
November 29, 2008. Some strangely afflicted people cover the next section in Part II, of William Jefferson's Entertaining Literary Curiosities, Consisting of Wonders of Nature and Art; Remarkable Characters; Fragments, Anecdotes, Letters, &c. &c. &c.
20 more chapters of Froissart have been proofed.
And from A Pennyworth of Puns, p. 23:
No nutmeg can the largest be in nature —
The greatest one may come across a grater.
November 24, 2008. I have met two more incredibly nice people! The first is Paresh Raval, who is keen on making books readable for the impaired. St. Andrew's University in Fife, Scotland, is lucky to have him. He also gave me some hot tips to make the pages I put online on more friendly to use for the same readers. He is the Manager of the Alternative Formats Suite at the University.
Paresh has made a copy for the viusally impaired in WordDoc form of the pages that are on this site from The Life of the Black Prince, by the Herald of Sir John Chandos, translated by Pope and Lodge. He shares, too. Let me know, and I will give you his version, if you need it.
The next goddess, is Miranda Midlane, who works at Scrivener's Books and Bookbinding, in Derbyshire, England. She helped me out when an old book I have had been poorly trimmed, which had cut off one line. With promptness and supreme courtesy, she checked her copy and told me the missing words.
Part I of the text involved is online now, and it is a great one that Ihave quoted before on this page — and its very hard to come by: Entertaining Literary Curiosities, Consisting of Wonders of Nature and Art; Remarkable Characters; Fragments, Anecdotes, Letters, &c. &c. &c., by William Jefferson.
In it, there is an article about a genius from St. Andrew's University in Scotland, who was famous enough to become the subject of a play: The Admirable Crichton. Obviously, the best, kindest and brightest are still at that school: Paresh Raval is proof positive of this!
November 23, 2008. Marseilles, by Grant Allen, is up and proofed.
Now for fun! From Entertaining Literary Curiosities, Consisting of Wonders of Nature and Art; Remarkable Characters; Fragments, Anecdotes, Letters, &c. &c. &c., by William Jefferson; 1808, p. 150:
"A well-known person, of an odd turn of humour, lately riding on horseback near Bath, happened to meet another equal to himself in a lane so narrow that neither could pass without one gave way, which neither would do. Both made a halt, and not a single word was spoken, till the first-mentioned deliberately pulled a newspaper out of his pocket, and began to read to himself, with the utmost composure; when the other determined to prove an equal degree of patience and obstinacy, leisurely took a pinch of snuff, and very gravely accosted him, "Sir, when you have done with that paper, I shall be glad to look at it?" which so pleased the humourist, that he immediately pulled off his spectacles, and seizing him by the hand, declared at the same time, that he should go home and dine with him."
Caledonian Magazine, Perth,
Sept. 5th, 1783.
November 21, 2008. The entire book, pictures, contents and proofreading is complete of Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton. Hooray!
As usual with me, it sent me off on a tangent. Slightly curious about the author of Fontainebleau, Grant Allen, I discovered I had another book lying around in which he was listed as a contributor: The Mediterranean, Its Storied Cities and Venerable Ruins, by by T. G. Bonney, E A. R. Ball, H. D. Traill, Grant Allen, Arthur Griffiths, and Robert Brown.
Unfortunately, the chapters didn't give credit to anybody in particular, so I assumed it was some sort of group effort. With some research though, I found out that Grant Allen has a big fan, Dr. Peter Morton, a professor from Flinders University, in Australia. He has a very nice website called The Grant Allen Home Page, here.
He was good enough to tell me that book was a gathering of separate articles from separate authors who had no connection with each other. He knew that Allen had written Chapter VII, The Riviera, but that it was first published in Frank Leslie's Monthly Magazine. He doubted Allen was involved in any way with the book version, since he had been dead for several years before it was published.
That was interesting and helpful information, and I am very grateful to Peter for his invaluable help.
Then, while looking up a teeny fact in Grant's article, (about the monks of the Iles Lérins), on Google, I discovered that this chapter was an excerpt of an original article in The American Magazine! Another rip-off, or so I thought. Or at least this is how the scanned book is titled in Google. While reviewing the front pages, though, I saw no mention of the name The American Magazine. It turns out that it's really called, you guessed it, Frank Leslie's Monthly Magazine !!!
When I compared this original article with the chapter in the book, I found that the book chapter was only half of the article. So I put up the rest in a readable way. On top of that, the scanned images were horribly done on several of the pages — missing all the words on the inner columns.
Fortunately, the hard copy was able to fill in the mistakes made in the scanned copy, so I could compare the two and fill in the gaps properly. The editors didn't change Allen's original work significantly: a few phrases and a few sentences were missing, minor punctuation changes, and Americanization of some of the spellings, a few changes in a word.
It seemed worthwhile to put up both versions. Here's The Riviera, shorter version,with the words highlighted in red that are different from the original.
Here's the original article: The Riviera, by Grant Allen. All the text that was not in the extract is highlighted in red on this page as well.
Lastly, Google reavealed another book, a reprint of another old book, that used this very essay by Allen in it, too; but it is not available for free. It states in that Table of Contents that Grant Allen wrote the Chapter on The Riviera. At least these publishers had the decency to credit the authors for their work. It also has a chapter on Marseilles, which it says is also by him. That chapter just so happens to be included in the book I have, too. Dr. Morton agrees with this, and was happy to hear
about it, since it was new information to him. So that chapter by Allen is next on the agenda — to complete my minor fling with a Victorian Age writer, for the moment.
More entertaining than that little adventure of mine, is an offering from The New Pun Book, 1906, p. 84:
SCENE. — Cabstand. Lady distributing tracts, hands one to cabby, who glances at it, hands it back and says politely, "Thank you, lady, but I'm a married man." Lady nervously looks at the title, and reading, "Abide with me," hurriedly departs, to the great amusement of cabby.
November 19, 2008. As the daily quote on the home page says, with its apt Shakespearean allusion. Today, the Man in the Iron Mask died. It just so happens that any curious person can read about this mysterious and romantic man in 2 places on this site, for 2 very different versions:
The Man with the Iron Mask, by Reuben Parsons, from Some Lies and Errors of History, and
The Man with the Iron Mask, from Legends of the Bastille by Frantz Funck-Brentano, translated by George Maidment.
The last of the text is online (and proofed) from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton, with these chapters:
Blarney Castle, by Mr. and Mrs. S. C. Hall, in Ireland,
Chateau de Loches, by J. J. Bourrassée, in France,
The Palace of Blenheim, by A, in England,
The Table of Contents, and List of Illustrations, by Esther Singleton,
10 more chapters by Froissart are proofed and linked to pictures of old buildings and gossip mentioned on his pages.
November 18, 2008. Now online (and proofed) from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton:
Berkeley Castle, by Arthur Shadwell Martin, in England,
The Castle of Chillon, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, in Switzerland,
Rocca Malatestiana, by Charles Yriarte, in Italy, is now proofed,
The Wartburg, by L. Puttich, in Germany,
Chateau d'Amboise, by Jules Loiseleur, in France,
The Preface, by Edith Singleton.
Chaumont-sur-Loire, by Jules Loiseleur.
My kind Parisian penpal, Bernard Blumberg, of www.BUCOVINE.com, has sent a beautiful picture he took of the Castle of Chaumont-sur-Loire. It is so nice of him to let me show it off, since I am on a castle kick.
Cornwall's Wonderland, by Mabel Quiller Couch, is online and finally proofed. The pictures are not good because of the quality of the ink in this stage of the printing. Re-scanning is on the agenda, if I ever get the book back from Arizona.
My favorite story in the collection? That would have to be: The Exciting Adventure of John Sturbridge.
November 15, 2008. The latest chapters online from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton:
The Palace of Shah Jehan, by Bholanauth Chunder, in India,
Edinburgh Castle, by Robert Louis Stevenson, in Scotland,
Edinburgh Castle, by James Norris Brewer, in Scotland,
Lambton Castle, by William Howitt, in England,
Aranjuez, by Edmondo de Amicis, in Spain,
Glamis Castle, by Lady Glamis, in Scotland,
Château de Chinon, by J. J. Bourrassée, in France,
The Summer Palace, by Maurice Paléologue, in China,
In A Pennyworth of Puns, by David Macrae, pp. 3, he tells an anecdote of Theodore Hook, another famous wit of the 1800's in England:
"Theodore Hook, was once punning on names, when a gentleman named Dunlop defied him to pun on his name. "Nothing easier," said Hook, "lop off half the name, and it's done!"
November 13, 2008. More of the chapters online from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton:
The Palace of Saint-Cloud, by J. J. Bourrassée, in France,
The Palace of the Bosphorus, by Théophile Gautier, in Turkey [Iran],
Plessis-Les-Tours, by J. J. Bourrassée, in France,
Hampton Court Palace, by Ernest Law, in England.
November 12, 2008. On a roll here, with more of the chapters online from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton:
Windsor Castle, by the Marquis of Lorne,, in England,
Alnwick Castle, by Cuthbert Bede,, in England.
Alnwick Castle is promised "Annick," according to a very funny essay on this site, by my favorite
Frederick S. Cozzens, "Does Queen Victoria Speak English?".
In A Pennyworth of Repartee, the author David Macrae, pp. 43-44, relates some of the puns told by Douglas Jerrold, a famous wit in the first half of the 1800's in England, who was a master at the quick, funny, comeback:
"No wit of the time equalled Douglas Jerrold in this kind of wit. Take two or three illustrations:
When a friend, speaking to Jerrold about an intolerable bore of an acquaintance, asked him if he had read his "Descent into Purgatory?" "His 'Descent into Purgatory!' " said Jerrold; "No; but I should like to see it."
A dissipated litterateur applying to Jerrold for money, said, "You know, Jerrold, we both row in the same boat." "Ay," said Jerrold, "but, thank God, with different sculls."
Lord Nugent, a friend of Jerrold's, did not hesitate when he got the chance, to repeat jokes of Jerrold's as if they were his own. At a theatrical party held at Sir Edward Bulwer's, someone speaking of Lord Nugent said, "He's a fine honest fellow is Nugent." "Yes," said Jerrold, "you might trust him with untold jokes!"
Jerrold aptly described dogmatism as puppyism come to maturity."
November 11, 2008. More chapters are online from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton:
Dublin Castle, by Lady Wilde, (the mother of Oscar Wilde), in Ireland,
Sans Souci and Other Prussian Palaces, by William Howitt, in Germany,
Whitehall Palace, by Leigh Hunt, in England,
The Castle of Kronborg, by Horace Marryat, in Denmark,
From Entertaining Literary Curiosities, by William Jefferson, 1808; p. 206, were some odd facts, one of which was this event that occurred in 1739:
"Artichokes were all destroyed in England in the hard frost, except one plant, which had been accidentally covered with some dung. From that one plant, which Mr. Miller, the author of the Gardening Dictionary, was so lucky as to meet with, all the Artichokes were propagated which are now in England.
November 8, 2008. I remembered how to do pictures, after a struggle. So these chapters are now online, and proofed (!!!), from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton:
Caernavon Castle, by William Howitt, in Wales,
A Ball at the Winter Palace, by Théophile Gautier, in Russia,
Fontainebleau, by Grant Allen, in France,
Raby Castle, by William Howitt, in England.
The Generalife, by Théophile Gautier, in Spain.
Château de Chenonceaux, by Jules Loiseleur, in France.
Also, I straightened the crooked picture from
The Riccardi Palace, by Alexandre Dumas, in Italy.
There was a series of little humor books, called the Pennyworth Series. They were by David Macrae, a Scottish clergyman and undated, but issued between 1903-1904. In A Pennyworth of Queer Epitaphs, he reports on some mighty odd epitaphs. On p. 14, he implies that this is one of them, in Greyfriars Churchyard, in Edinburgh:
Here lies W. W.,
Who will no more trouble you, trouble you.
November 8, 2008. Well, I forgot how to do pictures for the web again!
But I did learn that the French for turkey is dinde.
Speaking of turkey for din-din, another limerick from Hints from Squints, p. 21:
There was a young lady from Michigan
Who had wished once but wanted to Wichigan,
But she found 'twas a fact
That the wishbone was cract,
So she laid it right down on the Dichigan.
November 1, 2008. The chapters on Futtehpore-Sikri, by Louis Rousselet, in India, and Caernavon Castle by William Howitt, in Wales, are online and proofed. The essays are from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Writers, edited and translated by Esther Singleton. The chapters before these are also now proofed.
From Hints from Squints, A Book of Fun and Fodder, Gumption and Gimp, Pedagogy and Philanthropy, Morals and Manners, by Henry R. Pattengill; Lansing, Michagan: Henry R. Pattengill, 1905; p. 21:
There was a young fellow named Bill,
Who did not believe in free will.
When asked to saw wood
He'd say, "Yes, if I could;
But I feel foreordained to sit still."
That reminds me, if you are feeling "bill"-ious, take a gander at one of the poems from Rude Rural Rhymes by Bill Adams that I put online a few days ago, called Bill Quits.
October 29, 2008. Where have I been? Spending time with my Mom before she died. She had a rare cancer probably caused by exposure to fallout from the aboveground nuclear testing done in Nevada in 1962. The hidden perils of being an army wife! Fortunately, she died peacefully in her sleep. If you are interested in the obituary that my brother, Tom, and I wrote, you can see it here: Catharine Donovan Rhoads.
Most of the victims, downwinders, of this "un-friendly fire" — like my mom and my sister, Beth — are unacknowledged by the goverment, there is no early screening for cancer for millions. See much more about it on the wonderful site www.downwinders.org.
Some of the new stuff I am now able to put online include about 67 more poems, beginning with Corn, from Rude Rural Rhymes, by Bob Adams.
The rest of the poems in the text are on hold, until the book (forgotten in packing) is mailed to me. Obviously, then, the poems are only partially proofed for now.
August 18, 2008. Figured out wireless internet! Who says I can't learn new tricks, old dog that I am!
More from Rude Rural Rhymes by Bob Adams, a wildly popular poet of the early part of the 20th century. Aka Robert Morrill Adams, an Agricultural extension teacher in New York who died as a complication of ear surgery in 1931 or so:
Being a Boy,
Forty Plus,
The Water's Fine,
The Heritage,
A Pome of Pants and Patches,
A Song of the Sock,
The Bald Bard and the Modern Maiden,
Eating,
Feet, and
Culture,
And here's a great saying by Frederick James Furnivall (1825-1910), who believed that non-academicians could do great service to literature and science:
"... scholarship could be pursued by quite ordinary people in a spirit of good-humoured enthusiasm."
August 16, 2008. I'm still internet deprived for the most part on my westerly sojourn. But opportunity has knocked for the nonce. Thanks to a book given to me by my mother, Catharine, online now is a short essay called "One More Fortunate," by Conal O'Riordan from A Martial Medley, Fact and Fiction edited by Eric Partridge of the Scholartis Press in 1931. It is an account of his friendship with the antiwar poet Wilfred Owen, during World War I.
All the other stories in the book are not in the public domain and so I can't put them online.
In northern Arkansas, there's a charming little bookstore run by an equally charming man, in a small town 20 miles from Mammouth Hot Springs. There I found a funny little book of poems called Rude Rural Rhymes, written 80 years ago by Bob Adams. He was a teacher for the agricultural extension office in Florida in those days. Here are two of the poems:
In Praise of Plumbing, and
The Graduates.
And from the New Pun Book. p. 137:
SHE — "I think this a lovely hat you bought me, George, but really it's a sin to pay $50.00 for it."
HE — "Well, the sin is on your own head, not mine."
July 28, 2008. On a practically computerless trip! Here's a pun though, from the New Pun Book. p. 69:
If the devil lost its tail, where would he go to get another one?
To a liquor store where they retail spirits.
July 12, 2008. The rest of the Cornwall's Wonderland by Mabel Quiller-Couch is online and all but the last few stories have been proofed.
Here are the others:
The True Story Of Anne And The Fairies,
Barker And The Buccas,
Lutey And The Mermaid,
The Wicked Spectre,
The Story Of The Lovers' Cove,
The Silver Table,
Cruel Coppinger, the Dane,
Madge Figgy, The Wrecker,
How Madge Figgy Got Her Pig,
The Story Of Sir Tristram And La Belle Iseult,
And from 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 137:
The question he'd popped at a toi,
And the answer had filled him with gloi,
For the maiden so fair,
With a sweet modest air,
Replied to him simply with "Oui."
And 4 from p. 116:
"Go ask papa," the maiden said.
He knew that her papa was dead;
He also knew the life he led
And to where her answer led
When "Go ask papa," the maiden said.
There was a young fellow named Phil,
Who courted a charmer named Lil;
Then followed, of course,
A suit for divorce,
So you see he is courting her still.
A cook there was kneading her dough,
When in at the door walked her bough;
She said: "I'm busy,
So don't make me dusy
With love talk, but get up and gough."
They had purchased a set of croquet,
And were ready one morning to pluet,
But the horrid old rain
Spoiled the game for the twain,
So they spooned in the parlor all duet.
I have also completely reformatted all the pages of the first book by
Froissart to fix the browser-compatibility problem, until Microsoft and Yahoo again betray their customers, individuals and small-business owners alike.
June 29, 2008. A famous British author named Arthur Quiller-Couch had some talented sisters who also wrote but received barely a mention except in a few biographical entries on their famous brother. I had been very grateful for the good sense the brother had to edit a collection of humorous poetry many years ago and it is also a great delight to find a charming collection of folklore from Cornwall, England written by his sister Mabel. So the first stories from Cornwall's Wonderland by Mabel Quiller Couch are online (partially proofed):
How Corineus Fought the Chief of the Giants, an interesting story that shows remnants of the earliest fabulous history of England, including Brutus, the Trojan, who was thought to have given his name to Britain. The old Biblical names of Gog and Magog have been combined here to give a name to the giant in the tale, Gogmagog,
The Giant of St. Michael's Mount
,
The Legend of the Tamar, the Tavy, and the Taw,
The Strange Story of Cherry Honey
,
The Fairies on the Gump,
The Fairie Ointment,
The Exciting Adventure of John Sturtridge
.
From The New Pun Book, p. 30:
What is the plural of man, Johnny?" asked the teacher of a small pupil.
"Men," answered Johnny.
"Correct," said the teacher. "And what is the plural of child?"
"
Twins," was the unexpected answer.
June 19, 2008. Online: The Bard of the Dimbovitza, taken down by Helene Vacaresco and translated by Queen Elizabeth of Romania (whose pen-name was Carmen Sylva) and Alma Strettel, is online (except the table of contents and the image of the printer's logo. This is a collection of the farm-workers on the estate of Ms. Vacaresco's family in Wallachia, a part of Romania. It also includes some gypsy songs and a play, Autumn, found in an old manuscript in the family vaults at the Vacaresco estate: Pretty eerie, too.
Very helpful information about Helene Vacaresco can be found on a very unique and informative site called Bucovine.com, the brainchild of Bernard Brumberg of Paris, France — a wonderfully good, kind and wise man.
Much unique information, with great pictures, about Carmen Sylva, the queen, can be found offsite at Tom's Place.
A Fairy Tale, The Caraiman by Carmen Sylva is online on this site, too.
From The New Pun Book, p.195:
Another great discovery of diamonds in Kentucky! A man got five of them on the first deal.
June 13, 2008. My mom has recalled, related and recorded the poem her father (and my grandfather,) John Phillip Donovan used to recite to her and her sibs as older kids. Her sister verified it. Grandpa could have made it up, she says it sounds like him. But he also may have picked it up in hanging around early Colorado mining camps, where he was an engineer. He helped create many of the paved roads and tunnels in Colorado in the first half of the 1900's. He was also an avid reader with wide ranging interests and a non-Victorian sense of humor.
THE PERUVIAN SPIPHUS
After John Phillip Donovan
A marvelous bird is the Peruvian Spiphus;
He jumps from precerpus to precerpus,
Every time he jumps he farts
And every time he farts he jumps
And no one knows if he jumps to fart
Or farts to jump.
He has a triangular asshole,
And eats sand and shits bricks —
And that is how the pyramids were made.
As Recorded by
Catharine Donovan Rhoads
Copyright © 2008
June 12, 2008. Online translations of the earliest Anglo-Saxon bards, or scops:
From The Oldest English Epic by Francis B. Gummere with his extensive and readable notes:
The Attack at Finnsburg,
Deor compared with the Norse poem Signy's Lament,
Widsith, the Far-traveler,
And another translation of Widsith by Henry Morley from Translations from Old English Poetry by Cook and Tinker, with their notes are online.
An extract from Widsith, and more notes, from Early English Poems selected and edited by Pancoast and Spaeth has been on this site for a while. Three translations ought to be enough!
A Proverb from Haiti:
You can't catch a flea with one finger.
That's a sample of some of the goodies to be found in the rest of The World's Wit and Humor, Volume XIV, Russia, Scandinavia and Miscellaneous Wit and Humor. It is online and proofed (title pages and table of contents pending though):
Danish:
The Human Planet and the Griffin, and Judicial Decisions, by Ludvig von Holberg,
Poison for a Fly, by Adam Oehlenschläger
,
The Storks, The Lovers, Good Humor, and A Night in a Stagecoach, by Hans Christian Andersen
.
Norwegian:
An Enemy of the People, by Henrik Ibsen
,
The Snake in the Schoolroom, by Jonas Lie
.
Swedish:
Love and Bread, by August Strindberg
,
Aunt Louise's Mirror and Rural Travelers, by Karl Hedenstjerna [= Hedenstierna]
.
Dutch:
A Young Man and An Echo, by Erasmus of Rotterdam
,
Cupid Lost, by Jacob Cats
,
Droogstoppel's Views on Education, by E. D. Dekker, "Multituli"
,
Romance on Shipboard, by Arnold Buning
,
The Commercial Traveler, and The Ex-pirate, by Justus van Maurik
.
Hungarian:
The Feat of Swallowing a Mouse, by Maurus Jòkai
,
My Double, by Alexander Balázs
,
An Expensive Marriage, by Árpád Berczik
,
The Alligator, and The Summer Outing, by Viktor Rákosi
.
Dalmatian:
The Doge's Daughter, a Traditional Legend from Kapper's Tales of the Dalmatian Coast.
Bohemian:
Beggars' Song, Unknown Author
,
A Fiendish Plot, by Jan Neruda
,
The Fortunate Shepherd, a Traditional Legend from Hrase's Collection
.
Polish:
The Dream-Wife, by Kajetan Wengierski
,
On the Edge of the Abyss, by Henryk Sienkiewicz
,
Gwiazdalska, by Julian Niemciewicz
.
Lettish:
The Dogheads, and Stupid Liz, Popular Tales retold by Andrejanoff .
Servian:
Pledges; The Ring; Man, Maid, and Widow; Mine Everywhere; Popular Poems from Vuk's Collection .
Rumanian:
The Caraiman, by Queen Elizabeth of Rumania, "Carmen Sylva" .
Haytian [= spelled 'Haitian,' today]:
West Indian:
June 10, 2008. For Karl the noble Finn, Andrew Smith and David Whitehead a hilarious spoof: The Greco-Trojan Game, by Charles F. Johnson.
Now, my new joke:
"Why was Julius Caesar admired by most Romans but resented by Pompey?
Because he had a lot of Gaul.
June 7, 2008 [corrected]. The Russians aren't coming! They have come. For Vassili Morozov in Tomsk, Russia, (a very promising, talented, resourceful and courteous student of Anglo-Saxon) here's the Russian part of The World's Wit and Humor, Volume XIV, is online. Oh, yes. . . he's nice, too.
I was delighted to find that Dostoevski was really a funny, funny guy. I initially thought Ignatji Potapenko was a woman, because the story seemed autobiographical, and Ignatjia is also a Russian name which seems feminine, but Vassili kindly corrected this (and my geo-political ignorance) and reported that the author, Ignatji Potapenko, is a man. Anyway 'her' story is funny and sweet. It shows a great deal of kindness and generosity of spirit on 'her' part.
Any one of these stories would have made me like my college literature class, which is when I gave up reading so-called "great literature," for many years afterwards.
The Russian authors are:
The Philosopher, The Lion's Council of State, and The House-Builder from the "Fables", by Ivan Khemnitzer.
Muscovite Society, by Alexander Griboyedov.
The Sluggard, a Traditional Russian Fairy Tale.
The Swan, the Pike and the Crab, and The Musicians, from the "Fables," by Ivan Krylov
.
Wisdom, by D. V. Davidov.
Defunct Serfs as an Investment, from "Dead Souls," Letters of a Lap-Dog, from "A Madman's Diary," Incognito, from "The Inspector-General," by Nicolai Gogol.
The Crocodile, by Fedor Dostoevski
.
A Moral Man, and The Soldier, from "Who Lives Happily in Russia?" by Nikolai Nekrasov.
Russians Abroad, from "Smoke," Beneficence and Gratitude, Prayer, and The Fool, from "Poems in Prose," by Ivan Turgeniev.
Two Generals and a Peasant, by Mikhail Saltykov ["Shchedrin"]
.
Genius, from "Humorous Stories," by Anton Chekhov
.
Russian Proverbs
.
The Course in Sanskrit, from "Tales and Sketches," by Ignatji Potapenko
.
Promtov's Marriage, from "Autobiography of a Vagabond," and Surgical Operation Upon a Human Heart, by Maxim Pyeshkov ["Gorki"].
More "Burlesque Epitaphs," from Monologues and Parodies, compiled and arranged by J. F. Hartman (Comedian), New York: Frank Vernon & Co., 1910; p. 78;
Tip your lid to Jonathan Fox
Shuffled off by the black small pox.
Here lies John Anderson, Provost of Dundee,
Here lies Him, here lies He.
Hallelujah, Hallelujee!
A — B — C — D — E — F — G!
Say a prayer for Julia Mack
She sat on the business end of a tack.
Here lies the body of Michael Burke
Who lost his life while dodging work.
I was born in the spring, I died in the fall,
But I won't tell St. Peter, I lived in St. Paul.
This famous painter met his death
Because he couldn't draw his breath.
Gone to join some friends above,
Some one who slapped him on the glove.
May 30, 2008. Bones Found, by M. Boulays, a 19th century French archaeologist, of a cemetery of the ancient Gauls and newly translated into English is online, from Curious Archives, etc. The original French of Ossemens Trouvés is online too.
Some "Burlesque Epitaphs," from Monologues and Parodies, compiled and arranged by J. F. Hartman (Comedian), New York: Frank Vernon & Co., 1910; p. 77;
"Jonathan Jenkins is no more:
Anchored on the heavenly shore."
"Rebecca Jones
Has ceased her moans,
And all alone
Her husband groans."
"To him it was not given —
Much earthly real estate,
He left this world for heaven
Just as the clock struck eight."
"Our James has left this world of tears —
Likewise this world of laughter.
He took the doctor's medicine
And died ten minutes after."
"His life on earth
Is done and past,
Married six times:
In peace at last."
May 24, 2008. A Solemn Occasion of the 12th Century by an anonymous suthor, and newly translated into English is online, from Curious Archives, etc. The original French of the Solennité du douzième siècle is online too. I thought it was funny but then my French comprehension is not all that great.
From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 113:
There once was a Frenchman from Pau
Who went for a slide on the snau
In the rough Pyrenees,
Where he skinned both his knees,
And his cuticle now has to grau.
May 20, 2008. Should you become Pope, what can your garments be made of that none of your peers can use? The perks of Popedom and some understanding of the intention behind the oft-used phrase "to wear the purple" are explained in Chapter II: Materials, from the Costume of Prelates of the Catholic Church, by Nainfa.
The Preface by Nainfa is also now online.
French humor, including some sarcasm, 19th century style, can be find in the entry on The Hanover Rats, in English, or Les Rats Hanovriens, in French, from "Curious Archives," year 1834, a literary journal.
The French is that of the original anonymous author. The translation is new and possibly horrible, since the language acquisition gene is not dominant in my DNA. It seemed funny to me though, and if that's its intent, then its worth sharing since it is easy to see the satirical tone from this short passage. When struggling to learn French, it can be rare to find an opportunity to laugh along the way; so this piece was a welcome find.
Also, although Man being the most invasive species on the planet (i. e. pest), its interesting to read about another one.
A clue to the peculiarities of French can be demonstrated easily and humerously by an example, from 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 121:
A witty chap full of bon mots
Went often to vaudeville shots;
When he sat and talked back
Till, chagrined with his slack,
The boss led him out by the nots.
The best dirt is at the bottom of the hill. Sometimes the person trying to halt the erosion can join the said sod precipitously; and I can prove it. So, this seemed of more than usual interest to me, from 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 118:
There once was a maid from Fa.
Who slipped as she walked in the ca.
She cried out, "Oh, fudge!
I really can't budge,"
Now could there be anything ha?
May 17, 2008. After 2 years, the Index to Quizzism and Its Key; Quirks and Quibbles from Queer Quarters, by Albert P. Southwick, is finally done. It is a "Mélange of Questions in Literature, Science, HIstory, Biography, Mythology, Philology, Geography, Etc. Etc." Over 2400 links involved! It does make the text easier to use of course but it was surely a pain to do. Even worse to do than I had imagined it would be. It is a wonderful collection of trivia, though, that went through at least 6 editions in 2 years in the 19th century. Some of the answers are outdated, but many are still true — and interesting.
From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 97:
This language they call Volapuk
Is a very hard language to spuk.
It tangles the tongue,
And you'll wear out a longue,
Before you've at it a wuk.
What is Volapuk? I didn't know either, but the answer is to be found here, How to Build a Language by Don Harlow.
May 11, 2008. The Chapters on The Rue de Rivage in Abbeville, The Church of St. Wulfran in Abbeville, The Cathedral in Amiens, and The Abbey of St. Amand, by C. Harrison Townsend, from his book: Beautiful Buildings of Belgium and France, are online and proofed.
From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 119:
There once was a miserable debtor
Who sat down to write a long letter.
When he picked up the ink,
His heart it did sink,
For he spilled some all over his swebter.
May 8, 2008. History of Flagellation Among Different Nations is complete, now with the pictures.
Once more, Roger Pearse and Bill Thayer helped with some of the proper name problems. Didn't leave a mark on 'em either!
Hoping that they might sort of like the following morsels, in return, from the Historical Magazine, and Notes and Queries Concerning the Antiquities, History and Biography of America, Vol. II., September 1858, pp. 277-278:
IRREGULAR SPELLINGS OF THE SEVENTEENTH CENTURY, (vol. i. p. 170.) — Your correspondent "Hutchinson," in the June number of the Hist. Mag. gives several examples of the same words being spelled differently on the same page in the "Short Story," published in 1644. His examples convince me that these variations in orthography were intentional; but I never suppsed there was any system in them till I met with the following remark in a late number of the English "Notes and Queries" (2d S. v. 400, May 15, 1858):
"When the pronouns mee. etc., are spelled with a double e, as mee, etc., it denotes the word to be emphatick."
This remark is found in an article on "The First Edition of Paradise Lost," whch I presume from the initials appended, was written by S. W. Singer. The writer is quoting a note by Waldron, upon the first edition of Milton's great poem, and probably the annotator had reference to that work only; but the thought has suggested itself whether this rule will not hold good in other cases of books printed at that period and earlier? I would ask if any uniformity has been observed by your readers in this apparently irregular spelling of the seventeenth century?
TREMONT
BOSTON, July 13.
And in the same issue, p. 280:
YANKEE DOODLE (vol. i. pp. 26, 92, 124, 221, 314; Vol. ii. p. 212). — The following letter, says the National Intelligencer, has been received by a gentleman of this city from our accomplished secretary of legation at Madrid: —
"MADRID, June 3, 1858.
"MY DEAR SIR: The tune Yankee Doodle, from the first of my showing it here, has been acknowledged by persons acquainted with music to bear a strong resemblance to the popular airs of Biscay; and yesterday a professor from the north recognized it as being much like the ancient sword dance played on solemn occasions by the people of San Sabastian. He says the tune varies in those provinces, and proposes in a couple of months to give me the changes as they are to be found in their different towns, that the matter may be judged of and fairly understood. Our national air certainly has its origin in the music of the free Pyrenees; the first strains are identically those of the heroic Danza Esparta, as it was played to me, of brave old Biscay.
" Very truly yours,
"BUCKINGHAM SMITH."
Kossuth, says the Boston Post, informed us that the Hungarians with him in this country first heard Yankee Doodle on the Mississippi River, when they immediately recognized it as one of the old national airs of their native land — one played in the dances of that country — and they began immediately to caper and dance as they used to in Hungary. It is curious that the same air should be found in old Biscay.
Another correspondent says, Watson in his Annals of Philadelphia, vol. ii. pp. 333, 335, gives a good account of the origin of Yankee Doodle.
May 7, 2008. Complete text of the History Of Flagellation Among Different Nations, taken largely from the rare book by the Abbé Jacobus Boileau, is online and proofed with several emendations secondary to frequent misspellings and an inconsistent pattern of punctuation. As always, the usual qualification applies — that finding other peoples' typos is a lot easier than finding my own.
Pictures pending shortly.
The rest of the chapters are:
Online Introduction.
Title Pages and Online Index.
IV. — Corrections of a flagellatory kind, inflicted by force; the common method of correcting offences of a religious nature; and the power of inflicting them possessed alike by Bishops and the heads of Monasteries.
V. — Discretionary power of employing disciplines, established in the convents of Nuns, and lodged in the hands of the Abbesses and Prioresses.
VI. — Confessors assume to themselves a kind of flagellatory power over their Penitents.
VII. — The Church at large claims the power of publicly inflicting the discipline of Flagellation. Instances of Kings and Princes who have submitted to it.
VIII. — A remarkable instance of flagellation performed in honour of the Virgin Mary.
ANECDOTES.
From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 54:
A belligerent wren once wattacked an old when —
By wrage and wresentment winduced —
But the wrow wasn't wlong,
For the wren, wyoung and wstrong,
Wrushed the wrathful old when off the wroost.
May 1, 2008. An interesting item in Notes and Queries from the year 1871, relating to General Butler’s law directed towards the ladies of New Orleans, issued May 1, 1862:
“Everybody knows about the order by means of which he put an end to anything like insult being offered to his soldiers by the ladies of New Orleans. An Englishmen who met Butler some time after, in a railway car, spoke to him of this. ‘Do you know,’ said he, ‘where I got that famous order of mine? I got it from a book of London Statutes. I changed “London” into “New Orleans,” that was all. The rest I copied verbatim et literatim.’ ” — Macrae’s Americans at Home, i. 165.
April 30, 2008. The Publisher's and the Anonymous Author's Preface to the History of Flagellation are online. So are:
Chapter I: The use of Flagellations known among the ancient heathens, and
Chapter II: Flagellations of a religious and voluntary kind were practised among the ancient heathens, and
Chapter III: The practice of scourging one’s self
unknown to the early Christians, and
Chapter IX: Formation of the Public Processions of Flagellants. Different success they met with in different countries.
For people taking chemistry classes, a limerick from 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 110:
A jolly young chemistry tough,
While mixing a compounded stuff,
Dropped a match in the vial,
And after a while —
They found his front teeth and one cuff.
April 25, 2008. Here's a very intriguing song written in 1600, that A. H. Bullen found in John Dowland's Second Book of Airs. It is one of the surprising pieces found in More Lyrics from Elizabethan Songbooks, 1888, collected by Bullen and is on p. 71:
Mourn, mourn! day is with darkness fled!
What heaven then governs earth?
O none; but hell in heaven's stead
Chokes with his mists our mirth.
Mourn, mourn! look now for no more day,
Nor night but that from hell;
Then all must, as they may,
In darkness learn to dwell:
But yet this change must needs change our delight,
That thus the sun should harbour with the night.
April 20, 2008. Chapter I: The use of Flagellations known among the ancient heathens, from the History of Flagellation, by an anonymous author quoting the Abbot Jacobus Boileau [18th century] is online. It describes the abuses of power, with examples from Antiquity, including ancient Rome.
April 20, 2008. The Preface by C. Harrison Townsend, to his book Beautiful Buildings of Belgium and France, is online and proofed. The other three short pieces already up on Namur, Arras and Liège already online, are now proofed, too.
Per Bill Thayer, the accent mark on Liège has been changed in the last couple of decades and gone from forwards (Liége) to backwards (Liège). Apparently, the change caused a ruckus. I know no more details than that. Probably all along the same lines, but less titillating, of the fuss about whether to change the name of the much loved British plum pudding called Spotted Dick, since time immemorial, to Spotted Richard, something more easily ordered in public.
All I can say is to echo the reputedly old clichè [sic] quoted by Douglas Fairbanks in 1918:
"If wishes were fishes we'd have some fried."
P.S. Not only was Mr./Monsieur Thayer blessedly born bilingual, he happens to have a pretty valuable resource on American History on his website. It was already better than the best on Ancient Rome, along with beautiful pictures of modern Italy, but he decided to go local — occasionally — and has some of the hardest to find resources on U.S. History for all to read, for free, too. For example, you can get wiser, properly, reading his online editons of the definitive biography of Robert E. Lee, an early history of Louisiana, some Kentuckiana, . . . and that is but a small list of all there is to see.
In no way related to the above: from 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 122:
A fellow who lived in New Guinea,
Was known as a silly young nuinea.
He utterly lacked
Good judgement and tact,
For he told a svelt girl she was skuinea.
Now that you got to read that, and hopefully a few more pages will entertain you here before you click away, I'll give you the link to Bill Thayer's great website: LacusCurtius.
April 14, 2008. The Fragments of the English Tour Guide to Rome by John Capgrave is online. It is from Appendix IV to his Chronicle of England written in the 15th century and edited by Thomas Wright, 1858. A modern version is included with a pertinent glossary provided by Wright.
Because the whole history will be a long time in coming, here's another tidbit of interest, from p. 134.
Capgrave reports that King Henry I of England, in 1126, made the knights throughout the land cut their hair; for —
"Thei went with as long heer as women."
April 11, 2008. In 1336, a female vegetarian was found in England called Jewet Meatless. The priests decided that it was not sinful to be so, since she went to Church regularly. In the passage, cleped means "called" or "named," ne means "nor" or "neither." Being not quite clear to us today, however, it does not say whether she ate fish or not. Meatless days in the Catholic Church did not prohibit fish from being eaten.
This is reported in The Chronicle of England, by John Capgrave [fifteenth century], edited by the Rev. Frances Charles Hingeston, B. A., The Rolls Series, London: Longman, Brown, Green, Longmans, and Roberts; 1858; p. 205:
[1336 AD] In this same tyme was at a litil town clepid Berwik, V. mile fro Walsyngham, on the west syde, a woman thei cleped Jewet Metles, so cleped for sche ete no mete, but received the Sacrament on the Sunday, and thereby lyved al the weke. Prestes asayed that sche schuld receyve a hoost not consecrat; but sche knewe it. Sche was examined be the officeres of the church, and no defaute fond thei in hir feith, ne no synne in hir conversacion.
Now, here it is in modern spelling:
In this same time was at a little town called Berwick, 5 miles from Walsingham, on the west side, a woman they called Jewet Meatless, so called for she ate no meat, but received the Sacrament on the Sunday, and thereby lived all the week. Priests said that she should receive a host not consecrated; but she knew it. She was examined by the officers of the church, and no fault found they in her faith, nor no sin in her conversation.
Capgrave also reports, later in the book, an early news story here, on a serendipitous archaeological discovery, the money of which was happily used for restoration, on page 268:
[1398 AD] In this tyme was founde a grete summe of mony at Rome in a rotin wal, whech was the tresoure of Helyn, Constantyn modir; for in the serkil was writin hir name. And eviry pes thereof was worth XX[s]. With the mony the Pope ded renewe the capitol, and the Castell Aungel.
In modern spelling:
In this time was found a great sum of money at Rome in a rotten wall, which was the treasure of Helen, Constantine's mother; for in the circle was written her name. And every piece thereof was worth 20 [shillings]. With the money the Pope did renew the capitol, and the Castle Angel [- i. e., the Castle of St. Angelo].
The Chapters on Liége and Arras are online with sketches of some buildings there before World War I, from Beautiful Buildings in France and Belgium by C. Harrison Townsend, and various artists.
April 10, 2008. Chapter 9 on the Formation of the Public Processions of Flagellants. Different success they met with in different countries, from The History of Flagellation, 1903, by The Medical Publishing Company of New York. This is an anonymous work, stated to be taken from the the work of Abbe Jacobus Boileau (John de Lolme), 1635-1716. It is a history that is basically opposed to this method of correcting errors. Other accounts from histories of the period — Froissart, Knighton, Johnes and Leveque — are added in the footnotes for a wider look at this group.
From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 159:
The boy across his mother's knee,
His sorrows paused to nurse;
"Alackaday! This is," said he,
"A very sad reverse."
From the same book, p. 94:
There once was a school teacher named Beauchamp,
And her pupils — didn't she teachamp?
For when they were bad,
She made them feel sad
If ever she happened to reachamp.
April 8, 2008. In case anybody was wondering about the difference between an Archbishop and a Bishop and an Abbot, and what the heck is a pallium? and what's the office dress-code in the Catholic Church? then this Chapter by Rev. John A. Naifa is for you! It's from the first book in English on the subject, Costume of Prelates of the Catholic Church according to Roman Etiquette, by this man, a member of the Baltimore Diocese, under Cardinal Gibbons, in 1909. It is actually fairly straightforward, even. The rest of the book has some interesting chapters, but not all of them are (to me, at least) and so it will take a request from anybody interested to see the whole thing. If that is you, just write and let me know here.
From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 104:/P>
Miss Hyacinth Gladys McGee
Said somewhat explosively: "Whee !
If the back of my head
Were my forehead instead,
Just think how unique I should be!"
April 7, 2008. A Definition from Randall Cotgrave's French-English Dictionary of 1611:
Nugicanoricrepe : m. An idle singer of lyes, or trifling matters.
April 2, 2008. From The New Pun Book, p. 142:
He called her an angel before they were wed,
But that, alas! didn't endure.
For ere many months had passed over his head,
He wished that she was one for sure.
March 31, 2008. Cobb's Bill of Fare, by Irvin S. Cobb, is all finished, including some funny sketches by Peter Newell and James M. Preston.
March 27, 2008. A Forgotten Wit, by William Mathews is back online. It had vanished for a few months and I found the original copy hidden away and proofed it. Sebastian Chamfort was known for his witty maxims, e.g.:
"M. de Lassay, a very pleasant man, but who had a great knowledge of society, said that it would be necessary to swallow a toad every morning, in order not to find anything disgusting the rest of the day, when one has to spend it in the world."
March 27, 2008. A Proverb from Randall Cotgrave's French-English Dictionary of 1611:
Belle chiere, & coeur arriere : A faire looke, and false thoughts; or, a froward look, and forward thoughts; one that speaks me fair, and wishes my throat were cut.
March 26, 2008. Sport, from Cobb's Bill of Fare, by Irvin Cobb is online. So the text is complete except titles and pictures, and is also proofed. This last chapter had me chortling with laughter as I typed in spots. As Tory says, "This is my kind of humor." She was mildly amused but not as tickled as I was. Whatever, funny writing in any degree beats unfunny, period.
From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 118:
The sermon our pastor Rt. Rev.
Began, may have had a Rt. clev.,
But his talk, though consistent,
Kept the end so far distant,
We left since we felt he mt. nev.
March 25, 2008. Art, from Cobb's Bill of Fare, by Irvin Cobb is online.
And a long, long last, and ready to go — the first original gift book published by Elfinspell: My Liary, by Luann Overstreet and Susan Rhoads. It's the perfect present for upright persons to give to people who are less so. 50% of the proceeds of donations for it will be used to support our favorite causes and new authors and artists:
From The New Pun Book, p.153:
At a West End hotel one of the party asked:
"Have you got any celery, waiter?"
"No, sir," was the significant answer; "I relies on me tips."
March 24, 2008. Music, from Cobb's Bill of Fare, by Irvin Cobb is online.
From The New Pun Book, p.16:
"What's the matter here?" asked a stranger of a small boy, as he noticed a large wedding party coming out of a church on Fifth Avenue.
"Nawthin' but the tied goin' out."
March 23, 2008. For Harold Greer, the owner of Pound Collectibles, the first essay by one of his favorite old authors: Vittles, from Cobb's Bill of Fare, by Irvin Cobb. It was published in 1911 and in 1913.
I did not know until recently, that the expression Vittles is actually the proper pronunciation for the English word Victuals, I always thought it was a slang word, and a mispronunciation.
This was common knowledge to the person who wrote this limerick 100 years ago, in 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 104:
Said a gourmand too fond of good victuals,
"How this beastly existence belictuals.
Don't you think 'twould be fine
To do nothing but dine?
I wish life was all beer and skictuals."
And a poem by H. S. Keller, I don't know if this is Helen S. Keller, the famous blind teacher, but it is included in Monologues and Parodies, by pp.44-45, compiled and arranged by J. F. Hartman (comedian), (1910):
SAD, SAD SANDS.
Now the merry maiden goeth forth
In gala day array,
To all beside the crested wave
And with the sea shells play.
She takes off her dainty slippers
And her carmine-tinted hose,
And wades into the water
For to bathe her pretty toes.
To-night up in her chamber there —
Not haunted by repose —
She wonders where she got them all,
The freckles on her nose.
—H. S. Keller.
March 15, 2008. Getting closer. The rough, very rough English translation of Chapter 1 of the Chronicle of Du Guesclin is online from the French collation by M. Fr. Michel from the 15th century originals. The French is also there, in an inter-linear fashion. Actually it is by sentence not line.
February 19, 2008. Well, alright. Almost back to business!
If you know anybody from Kentucky, or you just want to put in a good word, be aware that the Romeo Law is coming up for vote in the House here. Romeo is a puppy who was mercilessly beaten by his owner. This law makes serious animal abuse a felony so that the perps do real time in jail for this.
See this thread by the right-good-hearted Ms. Jena Sizemore.
Or this article: here.
So call, 1-800-372-7181, and tell the operator you are voicing your support for House Bill 145 and tell your representatives to vote yes on that bill. It is amazingly easy and takes only 1 or 2 minutes.
If all the animal abusers were locked up, what a joy it would be for animals, and children and every other victim of violence! Animal abusers don't abuse only animals.
Thanks to Donna Howard, a real sweetie-pie, who helped organize the much-needed organization Pawz and Clawz, for giving me the heads-up!
February 12, 2008. Okay, back to work here. A last exhalation of residual ire first:
Dutch Medical Researchers just discovered that being fat is less expensive because obese people die younger. That is a long-standing tactic of American Government Health Care Insurance and its Regulators. American private health insurors gladly agree and jump on this bandwagon. The government has understood for many years that Dying is Cheaper!!!
As a result prevention is not covered by many plans especially by state and government subsidized ones. Effective patient education on decreasing risk factors and changing behaviors is not something they'll pay for. So of course the insured (especially for those on Medicaid and Medicare and Disability) get marginal or substandard care. The quicker they die, the better. After all, these people don't pay taxes and are too sick and demoralized to vote and they are using up all the health care and social security money!
It makes sense that all insurance companies, especially governmental ones, gladly pay drug companies and the physicians' office fees for prescribing narcotics, sedatives and speed!
Prescription drug abuse is an epidemic throughout this country, and it is subsidized by the government and big business.
When you are addicted, you don't care that it's destroying you and your family and your community. You also don't vote or care about anything besides getting and using dope. Protesting social evils, treating the cause of your "pain" with other treatments, or any other activity that isn't geared to easier access to drugs is not on your agenda.
That is why it is easier to get "legal" dope in the U.S. than to get physical therapy, specialty care, biofeedback or acupuncture — or any other tools that might manage pain while keeping people aware, involved and active.
All too frequently Doctors can't get paid to do real medicine, so some pull out the prescription pad for the dope that insurance companies and the government pay for, and have very happy patients and short office visits. Diagnostic, therapeutic and preventive procedures, patient education, medications and ancillary services that might treat the underlying problems effectively, or delay fatal consequences, won't be authorized or reimbursed.
Many valuable and useful medicines are taken off the market and given Black Box Warnings by the FDA for harming very few individuals, while helping far, far more people than they hurt. Narcotic and sedative drug use cause far more harm than Vioxx and other non-addicting drugs ever did, to more than just the patients taking them.
If narcotics and drug addiction weren't such big business and so useful as a political sedative to the unhappy masses, addicting drugs would have been recalled years ago or their use far more restricted.
Note: Instead of rewriting this entire site because of Yahoo and Microsoft greed-driven sabotage, the new content will be styled differently and the older content re-done as the retching subsides. Should something not work properly, or look purely dorky, please e-mail me!
The core page design will change, including the absence of the w3.org validation symbol. Since the main browsers do not comply with this organization's standards, that logo doesn't mean diddly. Despite this, the pages are validated with their usually excellent, but limited, tools. Some of the most attractive fonts have been dumped by Microsoft, so boring-looking fonts are the sole alternative for anybody with IE7. Microsoft is breeding clone pages and robotic design, not creativity and individuality.
Am I miffed?
Sniff . . . Snort . . . hack . . . and Ptui !!!