(not including endless work on Froissart and fixing stuff and learning more tech stuff and typing. Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Authors, Edited and Translated by Esther Singleton (1901) with a picture. The pictures for the previous chapters from this book mentioned below, are online as well. Chapter XIV, Thucydides, is online from The History of History, by James P. Shotwell. Limerick Lyrics, p, 57:
Saw a cat and thought he would taesar, But the cat was too fly, And she scratched out an eye, Now Caesar just sees her and flaesar. Some Lies and Errors of History. As usual, being a Catholic apologist, take this with several grains of salt. It is partially proofed. From 700 Limerick Lyrics, p. 71:
And you'll always remain here, I fear, For it matters not where, You may go, when you're there, You'll say to yourself, 'I am here.' " Speaking of Limericks, here's the Preface to the book mentioned above, 700 Limerick Lyrics, Selected and Arranged by Stanton Vaughan, and another from p. 84:
Slow sewers she shows how to sew; She says, "If, So-and-so, You sew so, you'll sew slow, And you'll only sew so-so, Sew so." This Preface crediting Edward Lear as the inventor of limericks (possibly) inspired me to put up Castel Del Monte by Edward Lear, from Romantic Castles and Palaces, As Seen and Described by Famous Authors, Edited and Translated by Esther Singleton (1901). Once started with this book, more chapters followed and are online (partially proofed): A second description of Castel del Monte by Henry Swinburne The Ducal Palace by Theophile Gautier, Palazzo Vecchio by Alexandre Dumas, The Riccardi Palace, also by Alexander Dumas, The Palace of Urbino by John Addington Symonds, and Rocca Malatestiana by Charles Yriarte. A last limerick from p. 84:
Who said she was happy enough, For she sneezed when she pleased, And was pleased when she sneezed, And that is enough about snuff. September 9, 2007. Online, Jim Wilkins's Tactics, by Frances Courtney Baylor from Half Hours with the Best Humorous Authors. The Introduction to Anecdotes of Dogs, by Edward Jesse is online. All these are partially proofed. From The Repository of Wit and Humor, Selected and Arranged by M. Lafayette Byrn, M. D., 1857; p. 361: Wit loses its respect with the good when seen in company with malice; and to smile at the jest which plants a thorn in another's breast is to become a principal in the mischief. and from p. 345:
The following are a few suggestions, thrown out for the benefit of those who are intrusted with the delicate task of teaching the young military idea to do something more than shoot, which was formerly his sole accomplishment. If fourteen pounds make one stone, how many stones will make one stone wall? If five yards and a half make a Pole, what is the length of a Hungarian? If a certain number of hogsheads make a pipe, is it possible, with any quantity of bird's-eye, to make a cigar? If the earth takes twenty-four hours to get round the sun, how many hours will it take for a son to get round an angry father? Reduce pounds to shillings; by billiards, brandy-and-water, and cigars.
September 6, 2007. Galileo, The Grey Cardinal, and "I am the State!" — Did Louis XVI. Ever Say So? from Lies and Errors of History, by Rev. Reuben Parsons, D. D. Read with extreme caution, especially Galileo, where this Catholic apologist minimizes the horrible role of the Church towards Galileo by saying that he wasn't tortured, just imprisoned pleasantly, as if that makes everything hunky-dory and the actions of the church excusable — because mental suffering does not really count as "torture." Galileo is proofed finally, but the other two are only partially proofed. From The New Pun Book, p. 139:
Its contents were sprinkled all over the fire, And all that poor Kathleen O'Donohue knows is, This dull world has changed for a sphere that is higher.
As he walked with baby He had to confess That marriage with him Was a howling success. online. From The New Pun Book, p. 68: "What was the subject of your debate this evening?" "Whisky." "Was it well discussed?" "Yes. Most of the members were full of the subject."
THE DOCTOR — "You regard society as merely a machine, do you? What part of the machinery do you consider me, for instance?" THE PROFESSOR — "You are one of the cranks."
"Do you think the elevator boy stole your watch?" "Well, he swore up and down that he didn't." Carleton are online and partially proofed. Two Anonymous Albas, translated by Barbara Smythe -- from the Trobador Poets are online and proofed. They are wonderfully moving. From Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, p. 232:
"Winkler seems to have a high opinion of his knowledge of things in general." "I should say he has! Why, I have actually heard him try to argue, with his son, who is in his Freshman year at college." (partially proofed). September 2, 2007. The English text of Alciphron has been online but now I have completed the footnotes with the Greek characters and the Bibliography. Yippee! The Greek text is still pending (don't hold your breath). Interestingly, Rip Van Winkle has its roots in the ancient Grecian legend of Epimenides the Cretan, who according to the footnotes, "This person, being tired with walking, is said to have gone into a cave, where he slept for 47 years. " August 29, 2007. The Great Danish Dog, from Anecdotes of Dogs by Frank Jesse is online How Jube Waked the Elephant, by Mrs. Sheffey Peters is online, from Half Hours with the Best Humorous Authors. Both of the above are partially proofed. From Limerick Lyrics, p. 60:
Who sang in the choir -- high soprano. Once she slipped -- going out, Which made the gentlemen shout, "We have heard, and now see your Hos- annah." Reginald Lane Poole, from Illustrations of the History of Medieval Thought and Learning. From Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, p. 15:
"Want a job, eh?" "Yes, sir. I'm looking for a place where there's plenty of work." "I'm sorry, but there isn't enough here to keep you busy more than an hour or two a day." "Well, that's plenty for me, thank you, sir." That Man, Anonymous, is online, from Half-Hours With the Best Humorous Authors. Only partially proofed. August 24, 2007. Darius Green and His Flying-Machine, by J. T. Trowbridge is online and proofed. From Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, p. 273:
"Who can tell me where is the home of the swallow?" the teacher asked a class. "I kin," said Horace, proudly; "it's the stummick."
Father: "When he can say nay."
"What is Mrs. Hampton taking for the kleptomania?" "Most anything she can get her hands on, they say." finally proofed. From Yorkshire Wit, Character, Folklore and Customs, by Blakeborough, 1911, p. 440:
Porriwiggle, n. The tadpole. Pot-blossoms, n. Blotches on the face caused by excessive drinking. Pot-lug, n. The handle of a jug.
History of Medieval Thought and Learning is online and finally proofed. He lived and graced the courts of Charles the Bald of France and King Alfred of England. However, he apparently was stabbed to death by his students -- with their pens! If this is true, one wonders why, since he was a good friend to that tolerant, well-educated King of France. Poole is certainly an admirer of John the Scot as well. From Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, p. 293:
Young Aspirant: "I have called to see if I may count on your support." Practical Citizen: "That depends, young man, on whether you are a candidate for office, or want to marry my daughter."
THE REPORTER'S GUESS. "The slimmest show I ever had of getting a fee," said a lawyer to a newspaper man, "was when a client came to me with no other asset than a watch without any works in it. "I suppose you took the case," commented the reporter. August 18, 2007. From The New Pun Book, p. 96:
The lynx-eyed cop along the docks, And plunges in the cooling tide, Arrayed in naught else but his hide.
Each evening a good-looking Mr. Comes around for a visit to my Sr.; One night on the stairs, He, all unawares, Put his arm round her figure and Kr. proofed). For a sweet pooch called Stetson, The Bull-Dog, from Anecdotes of Dogs, and the chapter on Dalmatians or Coach-Dogs, in honor of Pliny, by Edward Jesse, Esq., is online and partially roofed. A French proverb: Women are extreme, they are either better or worse than men. Aunt Patience's Dough-Nuts, and A Family Jar, by Anonymous Authors, from Half-Hours with the Best Humorous Authors is online (partially proofed). From The New Pun Book, p. 105: How is that; you weren't drowned last week when you fell overboard, you can't swim? No, I had on a pair of duck pants. online. Even funnier, way funnier! is The Rheumatism Movement-Cure by Robert J. Burdette, which is online and form the same collection. Over half of Nennius is finally proofed. From Monologues and Parodies, p. 60:
If your pants are loose, pull in the slack. August 5, 2007. Nennius, History of the Britons, translated by the Reverend William Gunn. His translation is the same one the J. A. Giles used. It is complete except the Latin and the Index. It includes The History of Taliesin, translated into English as well. If you want the Latin version, just ask. Otherwise that will be a while. The Preface is finally proofed the rest partially proofed. The footnotes are extensive, twice as long as the text itself. They're the best part though! From The New Pun Book, p. 91: FRANKLIN — "Do you know, I started in life as a barefooted boy?" HARDY — "Well, I'll tell you, I wasn't born with shoes on." And from Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, p. 206:
It puzzles me, indeed. I think that I am writing 'lead,' But find I'm writing 'lead,' "
In this, the chorus fits that tune but the verses after have an extra line -- make up your own melody for that one. As Nancy comments, it is "Do-It-Yourself" sort of music: Here's the best picture of the subject of the song (click on it to enlarge and she will look even better!):
par moi (A Ma.)
My angel now plays in cold seas, Too far to see, though I’m squinting, Oh, bring back my baby to me! Our mountains may be a lot older, And sagging with age, ... (like me). Our black bears are not quite so vicious; While snakes, mean as a grizzly, Can thrill her, if only she’ll see!
Blubber and Bubble Tea are lacking, Bugs right here, at least, are diverse. Boys? Just the same, all perverse. Bread now may not be as seedy, But, darling, our Nuts are no worse!
Soooooooooo………. Cast off the mud from your booties, Grab your pooch under your arm. Jump on the next Juneau ferry (I’ll steam the dang biscuits, my sweetie,) As you flit your way Eastward to me!
Note: "Blubber" refers to the fat of whales, which is still a staple (and taste treat to many) in parts of Alaska. A frozen cube of raw whale blubber was a snack that an Alaskan native, that I met 2 years ago, missed the most when she spent a few years in Connecticut. If they sold such chunks, would they be called "Fatsicles," do you think? "Bubble Tea" is a college-trendy non-alcoholic drink. Round pea-sized balls of tapioca are added to herbal teas and served with large straws. They are clear, so the tea looks like it has bubbles in it. Also, people eat the bubbles as they suck them up. The teas come in exotic flavors, but the bubbles taste like nothing and have the texture of gummi-worms. Besides Juneau, there's a cute little bistro in downtown Boston that sells bubble tea and their slogan is "Tea with Balls." They also warn you to suck responsibly, so you don't choke on the little blobs. An interesting verse in a poem by Sir William Davenant (16th century):
Will hide her drowsy head, And, for the sport of kings, increase The number of the dead. The whole poem is found here at the bottom of the page. There once was a painter quite bold Who never did as she was told She steadied her ladder But it didn't matter, Now she is on the floor, out cold!
© May, 2007. Uh, oh! Straydoc is a little peeved, I see! Find out why here, it's pretty funny. Hopefully this will help change behaviors, as you laugh. Share the page with your friends and enough publicity could lead to a difference in abusive corporate business tactics. Go to the Archives for the chronological record of the additions for the past 2 years.
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