(not including endless work on Froissart and fixing stuff and learning more tech stuff and typing. July 8, 2007. Online, Avebury, Stonehenge, and Silbury Hill, by John Timbs, from Abbeys, Castles and Ancient Halls of England and Wales, enlarged by Alexander Gunn, Volume II, Midland. Finally proofed, too. Also finally proofed the other chapters from this book that I have online already here. From Old English comes this proverb-poem (taken from An Old English Miscellany, by Morris and included in Ten Brinks Early English Literature, Volume I, translated by Horace M,. Kennedy, 1887) p. 214:
With king that is wilful, Covetous judge, Priest that is wild, Bishop of sloth, Old men of lewdness, Young men all liars, Women shameless, Unbridled children, The nobles bad wretches, The land without law, Then, says Beda, Woe to the nation. Each day to me come tidings three, Of which I think full sorrowingly. One is that hence I must away; Another, I know not the day; The third is my soul's greatest care: I know not whither I shall fare. From Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, p. 304:
Mistress (puzzled): "Why have you put two hot-water bottles in my bed, Bridget?" "Sure, mum, wan av thim was leakin', and I didn't know which, so I put thim both in to make sure." From The Proverbs of Wales, by T. R. Roberts, p. 75:
O flewyn i flewyn yr ä'r pen yn foel. From Joe Miller's Jest Book (original title Mark Lemon's Jest Book), p. 53:
whereupon one of the seconds interfered, and proposed that the combatants should shake hands. To this the other second objected,
July 5, 2007. Pictures, Contents online and so Early English Romances of Friendship by Edith Rickert is complete! Ta-dah! From The Proverbs of Wales, by T. R. Roberts, p. 81:
Segurdod a meddwdod a wnant grogyddion yn gyfoethog. July 4, 2007. Happy Fourth! Boyhood in a New England Hotel, by Simeon Ford, online and proofed. Final proofing done for Early English Romances of Friendship. From Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, by Will. H. Brown, p. 207:
McMasters was walking with a beautiful girl in a wild New England wood, when she asked him: "What is your favorite flower?" "Well, I believe I like whole wheat best," he replied, thoughtfully. And a quote:
be of serious consequence to you, when they have made you once ridiculous."
July 3, 2007. Online: Amis and Amiloun from Early English Romances of Friendships, Done into Modern English by Edith Rickert is partially proofed. This completes all of the content for this book. Half of it has been finally proofed. This story is also told in Eugene Mason's collection, though called Amis and Amile in that version. Another 100 jokes from Mark Lemon's Jest Book (aka Joe Miller's Jest Book), are online (partially proofed.) A song From Polly: An Opera by John Gay (1685-1732) (from English Comedies, edited by John Gassner, Eau Claire, Wisconsin: E. M. Hale and Co., (no date or copyright notice), p. 351:
Woman's like the flatt'ring ocean, Who her pathless ways can find? Every blast directs her motion; Now she's angry, now she's kind. What a fool's the vent'rous lover, Whirl'd and toss'd by every wind! Can the bark the port recover When the silly pilot's blind? Hints: Vent'rous, poetic for adventurous Ships were called barks (barques) in those days. Online: The Villager and the Snake, by George T. Lanigan, and The End of the World by Oliver Herford. Proofed even. From Little Masterpieces of Wit and Humor, Edited by Thomas L. Masson, Volume V, (1903), p. 17, and 170-172: And on p. 172, these quips:
woman suffrage, he made the diplomatic reply: "My dear madam, I have gotten away beyond that; I am trying to make the best terms with the sex that I can obtain." This brings to mind the mot of William M. Evarts when asked by a lady if he did not think that woman was the best judge of woman. He replied "Not only the best judge, madam, but the best executioner." And from Wit and Humor for Public Speakers, by Will H. Brown, (1916), p. 80;
"Ignorance of the law," interposed the judge at a certain juncture in a case, "is no excuse for violation of the law." "May I inquire, your Honor," asked the prosecuting attorney, "whether your remarks are directed at the defendant or his lawyer?" July 1, 2007. From The Proverbs of Wales, by T. R. Roberts (1909), p. 60:
[Malaen a ddyly ei daith.] June 29, 2007. Online: The Introduction to Early English Romances of Friendships, Done into Modern English by Edith Rickert is partially proofed. From Eve's Daughters, Compiled by a Mere Man and portrayed by Arthur G. Learned, 1905, p. 60:
but it will cost all you've got before you get out.
and on p. 67:
one man who is a woman.
June 25, 2007. For Nancy, Bill, Torey and Pauline: a pleasantly satiric and funny Big Kitty story, Warrior the Untamed, by Will Irwin is online and completed, pictures by F. R. Gruger, proofed and everything. June 22. 2007. Table of Contents, Title Pages, and final proofing is done for The World's Wit and Humor, Volume XIII: Italian-Spanish. As usual, I qualify that remark with the disclaimer that I can spot anybody else's typos but my own. So if you see one, please let me know. From the Cyclopædia of Wit and Wisdom (1845), p. 207:
father before and after meals very tedious. One day after the winter's provision had been salted, "I think, Father," said Benjamin, "if you were to say grace over the whole cask once for all, it would be a great saving of time." June 16, 2007. Online, The Story of Gray-Steel, from Early English Romances of Friendships, Done into Modern English by Edith Rickert is partially proofed. More of Volume XIII, of The World's Wit and Humor is proofed. June 15, 2007. Found it! Nancy enjoyed reading Limerick Lyrics and The New Pun Book while she was here. It, and helping me remodel, inspired her. This is the result (published with her permission):
Who never did as she was told She steadied her ladder But it didn't matter, Now she is on the floor, out cold!
© May, 2007. Cervantes, from The World's Wit and Humor, Volume XIII, Italian and Spanish, is finally proofread. June 13, 2007. Online, Roswall and Lillian from Early English Romances of Friendships, Done into Modern English by Edith Rickert is partially proofed. From The New Pun Book, p. 72:
HUSBAND -- No, my dear, but I will plant violets upon it. "For what reason?" "Because I do not wish any grave-robber to dig up your body." "How will the planting of violets upon my grave prevent them from digging me up?" "Your grave will be kept inviolate, of course." June 12, 2007. Gamelyn from Early English Romances of Friendships, Done into Modern English by Edith Rickert is online and partially proofed. From The New Pun Book, p. 79:
society of the great." "You're not?" "No; they are surrounded at home by any number of big-wigs."
She -- They say the eyes are the windows of the soul, I believe. He -- Yes; and when a man goes into a drug store and shuts a window quickly, the clerk knows just about what the poor soul wants. June 11, 2007. From The Wit and Humor of America, Volume X, p. 1915: THE MEETING BY S. E. KISER One day, in Paradise, Two angels, beaming, strolled Along the amber walk that lies Beside the street of gold.
Into each other's eyes, Then dropped their harps, amazed, And stood in mute surprise.
And, as they lingered near, Heard both at once exclaim: "Say, how did you get here?" English by Edith Rickert is online and partially proofed. And adding to your store of knowing more than one verse of a classic:
BY GELETT BURGESS Reflections on a Mythic Beast, Who's Quite Remarkable, at Least. I never Saw a Purple Cow; I never Hope to See One; But I can Tell you, Anyhow, I'd rather See than Be One.
[Five Years Later.] (Confession: and a Portrait, Too, Upon a Background that I Rue!) Ah, yes! I wrote the ""Purple Cow" -- I'm Sorry, now, I Wrote it! But I can Tell you, Anyhow, I'll Kill you if you Quote it! consolation was stopping in Salyersville, KY. There, I found a Chevron Station with full service! Real full serve, too. Pumped gas, oil checked, and tire pressures gauged even. All gratefully received from a charming young man named Thomas Salyer. He likes to read to top off the marvel of real customer service. No extra charge either. Thank you, thank you, thank you! June 3, 2007. Scrabbled! Nancy is here from Arizona, and besides knowing everything there is to know about painting, she is a demon at Scrabble. We are talking low-down mean, no holds barred! My only edge is that they have some medieval English in the new Scrabble dictionary. It doesn't help all the time, but I haven't lost every single game, just most of them. While I try to think of words with 7 vowels, she reads the odd book lying around here. Nancy liked this: Mrs. Bargain Counter Meets a Friend, from Merry Monologues, by Mary Moncure [Paynter] Parker, 1916. She was a Vaudeville performer. According to her Preface, She did Musical Readings and these monologues were performed with a musical accompaniment, before Liberace used this style of entertainment. A Google search yields little detail about her. Apparently she wrote books, plays and short stories. She appears to be from Chicago and possibly could have been a Daughter of the American Revolution.
You hear a great many persons regretting lack of opportunity. If every man had opportunity for his desires, this would be a nation of murderers and disgraced women. [Highlight from Archives] Find out why here, it's pretty funny. Hopefully this will help change behaviors, as you laugh. Share the page with your friends and enough publicity could lead to a difference in abusive corporate business tactics. Go to the Archives for the chronological record of the additions for the past 2 years.
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