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    LATEST EXHIBITS, deeds, and chores:

    (not including endless work on Froissart and fixing
    stuff and learning more tech stuff and typing.









May 28, 2007.  Athelstan, from Early English Romances, Done Into Modern English by
Edith Rickert: Romances of Friendship, is online and partially proofed.

From Limerick Lyrics, p. 67:



    There was a young girl in the choir
    Whose voice rose hoir and hoir,
         Till it reached such a height
         It was clear out of sight,
    And they found it next day in the spoir.



From The New Pun Book, p. 74:


        "John, can you tell me the difference between attraction of
    gravitation and attraction of cohesion?"
         "Yes, sir; attraction of gravitation pulls a drunken man down to the
    ground and the attraction of cohesion prevents his getting up again."




    May 24, 2007.  Nancy's here from Arizona, High Priestess of the Paint Goddess.  Her
    favorite from The Man of the World's Dictionary is:


         GOLD.  A yellow metal, that causes men to be massacred, towns
    to be burned, citizens to be oppressed, and women to be overcome.



    May 23, 2007.  A poem by John Milton for May, from A Book of Seventeenth Century
    Lyrics, Selected and Edited with an Introduction by Felix E. Schelling, Ginn and
    Company, Boston, 1899; p. 21:


          SONG ON MAY MORNING.

    Now the bright morning star, day's harbinger,
    Comes dancing from the east, and leads with her
    The flowery May, who from her green lap throws
    The yellow cowslip and the pale primrose.
         Hail, bounteous May, that dost inspire
         Mirth, and youth, and warm desire;
         Woods and groves are of thy dressing,
         Hill and dale both boast thy blessing.
    Thus we salute thee with our early song,
    And welcome thee, and wish thee long.


    From The Man of the World's Dictionary, [by Alexandre Baudoin and
    translated from the French in 1822]:



            GUNPOWDER.  A fine black dust, invented by a monk for the
    pastime of sovereigns.



    FALSE LIGHT.  An efficacious means employed by hatred and
    envy to rob good actions of esteem, to deliver over merit to con-
    tempt, innocence to the law, and virtue to persecution.


    A long time favorite of mine reappears in Limerick Lyrics, p. 60 (although
    this was written in the 19th century in England):


    Willie, in the best of sashes,
    Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes,
         By and by
         The air grew chilly,
    But no one cared to poke up Willy.


    And one more from the same, p. 78:

    There was a watchmaker named Quick,
    And he thought he was awfully slick,
         But he couldn't hold out,
         He went up the spout,
    He tried to do business on tick.



    May 20, 2007.   Chapter XIII: Herodotus, is online from Shotwell's
    An Introduction to the History of History (partially proofed.)


    From Limerick Lyrics, p. 92:


    There was a young lady of Gloucester,
    Who married a fellow named Foucester,
         But returned to her ma,
         And her brother and pa,
    Because the man hectored and boucester.


        A SEEDSMAN being lately held to bail for using inflammatory
    language respecting the Reform Bill, a wag observed, it was
    probably in the line of his profession — to promote business, he
    wished to sow sedition.





    From Limerick Lyrics, p. 98:


    A typical young girl from Arkansas
    Can chaw more tobacco than her ma can chaw.
         She can sling a little ink,
         Take a little drink,
    And saw more wood than her pa can saw.

    ______


    The typical young man from Arkansas
    Is never afraid of his mother-in-law.
         He can stay out all night,
         Take a hand in a fight,
    And ring in a cold deck on his father-in-law.

From The Man of the World's Dictionary:


        POLITICIAN.  A man who makes his fortune by selling all those
    who buy him.


         PONIARD.  A weapon necessary in the fifth act of a tragedy.


    From Mark Lemon's Jest Book, p. 81:


        "MOTHER, this book tells about the angry waves of the ocean.  Now,
    what makes the ocean get angry?" --  "Because it has been crossed so
    often, my son."

       Some one wrote in a hotel visitors' book his initials, "A. S."  A wag
    wrote underneath, "Two-thirds of the truth."



    May 2, 2007.  Redid the T-shirt page, because this page is made
    with a WYSIWYG site-builder,I use it for about 10 pages on this sit
    that I change frequently.  On those pages it is helpful usually, but
    not when positioning images that translate to different browsers.  
    If this new format doesn't work, then I will go and make a hand-
    coded page.


    Now online is the essay on Galileo, from Some Lies and Errors
    of History, by Reuben Parsons.  Here once again, he is at his awful
    and insensitive best.


    A little proofreading done as well.

    From Limerick Lyrics, p. 81:


    The centipede was happy until the toad, in fun
         Asked her, "Which leg comes after which?"
         This worked her mind to such a pitch,
         She lay distracted in a ditch,
    Considering how to run.



    From The New Pun Book, p. 50:



        What did you wear last night?" asked the celery.  "A lovely
    mayonnaise," replied the lettuce.  "And you?"  "Never was so mortified
    in all my life; I wasn't dressed at all," said the celery; and the beet
    blushed.

    _____

         A woman never fully understands the hardness of the world until
    she falls off a bicycle a few times.

    _____

         MRS. FUSSY -- "John you're the most unreasonable man I ever met
    in my life."
         MR. FUSSY -- "I don't doubt it.  I'm the only one that ever married
    you."

    _____

         Jonah's experience with the whale is proof that you can't keep a
    good man down.

    _____

         "Since I've been married I don't get half enough to eat."
         "Well, you must remember that we are one now."

    _____

         "What man in the army wore the biggest hat?"
         "The one with the biggest head, of course."


    Proofreading!  Also added Fénelon and Voltaire, from Some Lies and
    Errors of History, by Reuben F. Parsons.


    From the Glossary in Yorkshire Wit, Character, Folklore & Customs, by
    R. Blakeborough, (1911), p. 475:

    Swoddy, adj.  Dull, clumsy, lumpy.

    Taistrel, n.  A peevish character.




        When Bishop Potter was asked the other day what he thought of
    woman suffrage, he made the diplomatic reply:
         "My dear madam, I have gotten away beyond that; I am trying to
    make the best terms with the sex that I can obtain."
         This brings to mind the mot of William M. Evarts when asked by a
    lady if he did not think that woman was the best judge of woman.  He
    replied:
         "Not only the best judge, madam, but the best executioner."

        A poacher surprised at his work and pursued in his escape by a
    vengefully thrown axe, remarked, as he vaulted a fence: "I have no
    fault to find with your remarks, but I object to the axe-sent."

    _____


         Take away my first letter, take away my second letter, take away
    all my letters and I am still the same.  What am I?  The postman.

    A cheese that was aged and gray
    Was walking and talking one day.
         Said the cheese, "Kindly note
         My mama was a goat
    And I'm made out of curds by the whay."

and from p. 126:

    There was a young man down in Ga.,
    As cunning and cold as a Ba.
         But he shuffled the decks,
         Wrote many false checks,
    And now he's in jail as a fa.



April 21, 2007.  Found a great quote:

    I am just going to leap into the dark.
    -- Rabelais.



I forgot, for too long, that w3.org has a link-checker and so have been fixing a lot the
broken links and anchors for the past week.  


    From Limerick Lyrics, p. 109:

    A beautiful lassie named Florence
    Once wept till her tears flowed in torrence.
         When asked why she cried,
         She sighed and replied,
    "The sheriff's been here with some worrence.



    Online from The World's Wit and Humor, Volume XIII, Italian-
    Spanish:



    From The New Pun Book, p. 34:

         HE -- "Didn't you promise to love, honor and obey me?"
         SHE -- "Heaven only knows what I promised.  I was
    listening to hear what you promised."

    and from p. 35:

         DINER -- "Hello! waiter, where is that ox-tail soup?"
         WAITER-- "Coming, sir -- half a minute."
         DINER -- "Confound you!  How slow you are!
         WAITER -- "Fault of the soup, sir.  Ox-tail is always behind."


    Deeafly, Deavely, adj.  Alone, by oneself.



    April 18, 2007.  From The World's Wit and Humor, Volume XIII, Italian-
    Spanish, online and partially proofed:

    "The Attack on the Windmills,"
    "Great Battle against a Flock of Sheep,"
    "Rascalities of Rincon and Cortado,"
    "Doctor Glass-Case."


    From the Glossary in Yorkshire Wit, Character, Folklore & Customs, by
    R. Blakeborough, (1911), p. 362:


    Dempt, pp. [past participle]  Deemed, thought.

    Deng, v.  To knock off with violence, to throw down, to wrench off.

    Deeazment, n.  Chilled to the bone.





April 13, 2007.  Friday the thirteenth!  Uh-oh.

    Oops!  The Greek finally turned out okay, but once more,
    I have no idea how I managed to make it work.



    For Jeff at the Appalachian News-Express, from Limerick Lyrics,
    selected and arranged by Stanton Vaughan,  New York: Frank
    Vernon & Co., 1906; p. 33:


    For months he had tried to coax
    The papers to print his joax,
        But 'twas all in vain,
        So his mammoth brain
    In alcohol now he soax.


and on the same page:



    There was a young man in Marquette,
    Who knew that he oughtn't to buette,
        But he did just the same
        On some kind of game,
    And he hasn't got over it yuette.





April 8, 2007.  The Essays and Notes by Charles Eliot Norton from The New Life of Dante
Alighieri is all online, partially proofed.  That completes the text.


    Some Chicago jokes for Bill Thayer and James Eason,
    From Through Missouri on A Mule, by Thomas W. Jackson,
    Chicago, 1904; p. 8:


         Look at Chicago, the whole town is sick.
         I picked up a newspaper and it read right across the heading in
    big letters, "Chicago, Ill."

    _______

         Did you ever hear the story about the Chicago river?
         No, what is it?
         It's too dirty, I won't tell it.


    And  from p. 7:


          I went over to the telephone office [in Saint Louis, Mo.] and
    asked the girl what it would cost to telephone to Jefferson City.
         She said, "Fifty cents."
         I said, "In Chicago, I can telephone to Hell for fifty cents."
         She said, "Yes, but that was in the City limits."

        A Compliment. --"Do make yourselves at home, ladies," said a
    female to her visitors one day.  "I'm at home myself, and wish you all
    were."



    April 4, 2007.  The Sibylline Oracles, translated by Milton S. Terry, is partially re-
    formatted and re-proofed.


    From Limerick Lyrics, p. 92:


    Plook, n.  A small pimple.



    And one more from Limerick Lyrics, p. 93:


    There was a young lawyer named Pique,
    Who sported a prominent bique,
         An angry old client
         Grew very defiant,
    And gave his proboscis a twique.





    April 1, 2007.  Happy April Fool's Day to me.  I bought Girl Scout Cookies from
    two little sweeties who came to my door.  Guess what!  Two cookies had been
    removed and tasted before I got to them.  Who would think you'd have to
    check the packages of the Girl Scouts?

A tampered package in my hand, and no girlies in sight.  Being fairly certain that they didn't
represent mini-terrorists, I ate a few and am still alive to tell the story.  I didn't need the
darn things anyway.


    All of Villani is done, done, done!






    [Highlight from Archives]

    Uh, oh! Straydoc is a little peeved,  I see!

    Find out why here, it's pretty funny.  Hopefully this will help change
    behaviors, as you laugh.  Share the page with your friends and enough
    publicity could lead to a difference in abusive corporate business tactics.







    Go to the Archives for the chronological record of the
    additions for the past 2 years.