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From Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, edited by Thomas L. Masson; Doubleday, Page & Company, New York; 1903; p. 17.


17

THE VILLAGER AND THE SNAKE

By

GEORGE T. LANIGAN

A VILLAGER, one frosty day, found under a Hedge a Snake almost dead with cold. Moved with compassion, and having heard that Snake Oil was good for the Rheumatiz, he took it home and placed it on the Hearth, where it shortly began to wake and crawl. Meanwhile, the Villager having gone out to keep an engagement with a Man ’round the Corner, the Villager’s Son (who had not drawn a sober Breath for a Week) entered, and, beholding the Serpent unfolding its plain, unvarnished Tail, with the cry “I’ve got ’em again!” fled to the office of the nearest Justice of the Peace, swore off, and became an Apostle of Temperance at $700 a week. The beneficent Snake next bit the Villager’s Mother-in-law so severely that Death soon ended her sufferings — and his; then silently stole away, leaving the Villager deeply and doubly in his Debt.

Moral. — A Virtuous Action is not always its only Reward. A Snake in the Grass is Worth two in the Boot.

For more Fables by Lanigan, see The Merchant of Venice, and The Good Samaritan,/I>.



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[anonymous]



Our marble dealer, C. C. Dunkelburg, is a hustler. Yesterday he left for Vermont to fill an order for seventeeen granite monuments sold in this locality, ranging in price from $285 to $1,000. This is an evidence of business which, in these times, is encouraging. — Gouverneur Free Press.






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