LATEST EXHIBITS, deeds, and chores:
(not including endless work on Froissart and fixing
stuff and learning more tech stuff and typing.
September 28, 2006. The first Five Chapters from James T. Shotwell's Introduction to the History of
History are online, and partially proofed. It is a very interesting book written in an easy, personable
style, although this doesn't prevent him from utilizing extensive footnotes and adding Bibliographies to
several of the Chapters.
This book has been on my to-do list for a while, and the impetus to begin it is due to A. J., a doctor
who made the mistake of asking me if there was a good history book, an unbiased one, that would
explain, not excuse, the War in the Middle East
This book was the answer. Bias in history books is a given, but there are all grades of historians and
histories from A to F, good to bad, more or less biased. What makes this so, is what this book
addresses.
Also online is the complete text of Somerville and Ross's Some Experiences of an Irish R. M. It is only partially proofed at this point, and the pictures aren't done yet, but the text is complete and
mostly as delightful as the excerpts were (which led me to hunt down the text).
And, speaking of the Irish, a pun from The New Pun book, p. 92:
PAT -- Who is being lowered into a well; "Sthop, will ye, Murphy? Oi want to coom up
again."
MURPHY -- Still letting him down, "Phat for?"
PAT -- "Oi'll show ye. Af ye don't sthop lettin' me doon, Oi'll cut the rope."
and from p. 91;
The landlord came to Mrs. O'Hooligan on the first day of May last, and said: "See here,
my foine loidy, I am going to raise your rent." "Oh thanks be to the Lord," said Mrs.
O'Hooligan, "I'm so glad that you intend to raise it for me as Dan aint' working and I'm
nather able nor willing to raise it myself."
from p. 94;
An Irishman in order to celebrate the advent of a new era, went out on a lark. He
didn't get home till 3 o'clock in the morning, and was barely in the house before a
nurse rushed up and, uncovering a bunch of soft goods, showed him triplets. The
Irishman looked up at the clock which said 3, then at the three of a kind in the nurse's
arms, and said: "O'im not superstitious, but thank Hivins thot Oi didn't come home at
twilve!"
and lastly, from p. 86:
"There's a great art," says Mickey Dolan, "in knowing what not to know whin yez don't
want to know it."
September 25, 2006. Tom Smith kindly posted on the Fan Mail board to contribute some very helpful
notes to add to the puny ones I provided on Sir Walter Raleigh's Account of the Last Sea Fight of the
Revenge.
This prompted me to add the pictures, with a woodcut by Pyle, and to do the final proofreading of it.
Also completely complete, John Fiske, Unpublished Orations: now including the title page and pictures:
The Portrait of John Fiske and his autograph (facsimile signature), plus the Bibliophile Society's stamp
and bookplate.
September 22, 2006. From The New Pun Book, p. 6;
"I saw some delicious apples growing on a tree this morning. I
couldn't reach them, and asked the lady of the house if she would let
me take a step-ladder."
"Did she give it to you?"
"No; but she gave me a stare."
"My sister had a fright yesterday. She had a black spider run up her
arm."
"That's nothing. I had a sewing machine run up the seam of my
trousers."
Attorney for the Defense -- Have you ever been cross-examined
before?
The Witness -- Have I. I'm a married man. -- Life.
-- I met a deaf and dumb man to-day who had every joint of his fingers
broken.
-- That is terrible, how did it happen"
-- Well, he used to crack jokes on his fingers.
"I'm nearly starved. Just got in from a three-hour trip on the New
York Central."
"But couldn't you get anything to eat on the train?"
"Nope! It was a 'fast' train."
September 21, 2006. Three letters from Robert E. Lee to two of his daughters, Agnes and Mildred,
before the Civil War had begun are online. The definitive autobiography of Lee, by Freeman, is online
on Bill Thayer's web side here.
From The New Pun Book, p. 25:
How by the statesman insincere
Man's weary soul is vexed.
He'll shake your hand one minute and
He'll pull your leg the next!
September 20, 2006. Count Lucanor, Or The Fifty Pleasant Stories of Patronio, by
the Prince Don Juan Manuel, (13th century), translated by James York, M.D., is
completely finished, Pictures, Contents, and Index plus proofed.
The New Pun Book, p. 140;
Seven little missionaries --
Horrible their fate --
Cannibals picked clean their bones
Then they were ate.
September 17, 2006. Second Half of Count Lucanor is proofed, including the Greek text from Babrius
online as well, with the pictures due to be up by tomorrow.
I finally think I have fixed the images of the decorated first initials to my liking. I usually don't include
them because of my image impairment, but I am trying again to learn how to do them, and started
with these. They are only mediocre, but you should have seen the first tries!
The cover is horribly difficult to see because the text had a black picture on an dark green background,
which makes it pretty illegible even in the original. Anyone who can help me do better is more than
welcome to give me a hint (or several). This is the best I can do at this point in my learning curve.
September 16, 2006. Proofread half of Count Lucanor; or the Fifty Pleasant Stories of Patronio
written by the Prince Don Juan Manuel, and first done into English by James York, MD., 1868
From The New Pun Book, p. 5,
"Gee, I just made a bad break," murmured the chef, as he threw away
some rotten eggs.
"This is our latest novelty," said the manufacturer, proudly. "Good work,
isn't it?"
"Not bad," replied the visitor, "but you can't hold a candle to the goods we
make,"
"Oh! are you in this line, too?"
"No. We make gunpowder."
"My girl's father is an undertaker. He has invented an automobile
hearse. Folks are just dying to ride in it."
"An Irishman comes to this country, remains here ten years, and goes
back to Ireland, and dies. What is he?"
"Why, an Irishman, of course."
"No, you're wrong; he is a corpse."
He -- Why has he put her picture in his watch?
She -- Because he thinks she will love him in time.
September 15, 2006. From The New Pun Book, p. 106:
"I never could see why they always called a boat 'she.' "
"Evidently you have never tried to steer one."
September 10, 2006. A tedious, troublous weekend updating site. The good news: The Frontispiece
by Fra Angelico, Table of Contents, and re-formatting (for browser friendliness) is done and so makes
the text complete of Legends and Satires of Medieval Literature, edited by Martha Hale Shackford.
[Whew!!!]
That calls for something from The New Pun Book, p. 76:
"I see villainy in your face," said a judge to a prisoner.
"May it please your honour," said the latter, "that is a personal
reflection."
and from p. 78:
FRIEND -- Do you permit your wife to have her own way?
HUSBAND (positively) -- No, sir. She has it without my permission.
and on p. 79:
"What became of that girl you made love to in the hammock?
"We fell out."
September 6, 2006. Over half of The Italian Novelists is now proofed.
From The Ne w Pun Book (from the year 1906), p. 4:
"Have you ever met my sister, Louisa?"
"Yes, She's rather stout, isn't she?"
"I have another at home -- Lena."
Also from p. 4:
I hear they are trying to close up the gambling establishments in
New York. Why didn't they close up Adam? He was the first gambler. Didn't
he start the races?
September 7, 2006. 150 more pages of The Italian Novelists, by Thomas Roscoe have gone
through their final proof.
From The New Pun Book, p. 25:
How by the statesman insincere
Man's weary soul is vexed.
He'll shake your hand one minute and
He'll pull your leg the next!
September 6, 2006. Finally! Now doing a Boston/Kentucky commute. Awaiting phone service
in Boston is a nightmare. It was time not wasted, as I have done a lot of tedious chores, like
proofreading, pictures, and table of contents, etc.
From The New Pun Book, p. 68;
HE -- "The fact is, you women make fools of the men."
SHE -- "Sometimes, perhaps; but sometimes we don't have to."
August 19, 2006. The Table of Contents to Heliodorus', The Aethiopica,
is now online. So that makes it complete, including proofreading. (Yea!)
The pictures, Title, Contents and Introduction to Volume III of
Tales from the Italian and Spanish, Stories of Humor And Adventure, are also done.
Partially proofed only.
One fifth of Roscoe's Italian Novelists is proofed.
August 14, 2006. Finally decided to address my image issues. Sure enough the scanner was
broken. Now have a new one. So have been scanning, scanning, scanning.
August 12, 2006. Mike picked the pun today, from The New Pun Book; p. 18:
A man's handwriting is never so bad that his name can't be read
when signed to a check.
August 8, 2007. Proofing, proofing, proofing. Yuck.
But I also finished the rest of Roscoe's Translation of his selection of some stories by
Giovanni Boccaccio, from his book, The Italian Novelists, which is now complete, except for the
title pages and the 20 PAGE (!!!) Table of contents.
By the way, my profound thanks go out to Leslie Couch, of Big Creek, Kentucky: a good, Good
Samaritan. Also to the trucker who loaned me a cell phone that works in 'these here hills,' and the
driver who gave a ride to Leslie's store. Having run out of gas on one of the first hottest days of
summer, he carted Bill Thayer ( the luckless passenger victimized by my poor planning) to and from
the nearest working gas pump with a gas can. The state police and AAA roadside assistance were
uncaring of the 100 degree roadside temperature and possible heatstroke and over an hour had
elapsed before the rescue by Mr. Couch. Two Kentucky state troopers did cruise by after the call
without stopping for the raised hood signal for vehicle in distress. No sign of the requested help -- paid
for assistance by taxes or membership-fee in sight even then. Mr. Couch saved the day with a smile
and sympathy and apparent pleasure. Blessings on him! And the other kind strangers!
Torey picked the pun again today, from The New Pun Book, p. 97:
"Widowhood makes a woman unselfish."
"Why so?"
"Because she ceases to look out for Number One and begins to look
out for Number Two."
August 7, 2007. The last of the stories from Tales from the Italian and Spanish, Volume III,
are online. All have been partially proofed, many have been fully proofed, especially those that
have been pirated from Thomas Roscoe's The Italian Novelists. The stories newly added are:
A Provincial Family Feud, by Matilde Serao,
An Italian Lear, by Giovanni Brevio,
Making the Will, by Giovan-Francesco Straparola
Eden Anto, by Antonio Fogazzaro,
The Fat Ebony Carver, Anonymous,
The Colonel, by Renato Fucini,
The Instruction Bettered, by Girolamo Parabosco,
The Cares of Prosperity, by Luigi Capuana.
Half of the stories by Giovanni Boccaccio, and the biographical notice by Thomas Roscoe
from The Italian Novelists, are online.
From p. 4, of The New Pun Book:
She -- I had a $5 bill in this dictionary yesterday and I can't find it
anywhere.
He -- Did you look among the V's, dear?
Torey and I went blackberry picking a few days ago. Her dog, Luna (I vow it's short
for LunaTic), went along for a nice romp.
The dog is sweet and eclectic in her tastes: she eats just about anything, including
bananas. What we didn't know is that she doesn't always just wait for food to be
given her. No, not at all!
While we picked blackberries, having given her one, she got right into the spirit of
things. Soon, there was Luna: chomping away straight from those thorny vines on all the
blackberries in her reach. Her nose buried in the brambles, you could tell by the juicy sounds of
chewing where Luna was the rest of the day. A hunter-gatherer pooch!
Not only that, if several of the berries were red and unripe and only one was sweet, ripe and black, she
would only eat the ripe one.
Too bad she didn't scout out the thickets for us. She waited til we spied a clump and started picking
and then would come and firmly nudge us aside as she got her share. It's also a shame that she didn't
put any in the basket either. Just see if we give her any blackberry cobbler!
August 5, 2006. More from Tales from the Italian and Spanish, Volume III, Tales of Humor
and Adventure, are online:
A Fifteenth Century Spiritualist, by Masuccio of Salerno,
Currado's Cook, by Giovanni Boccaccio,
The Gallow's Ghost, by Anton-Frencesco Grazzini,
Martellino Escapes, by Giovanni Boccaccio,
On the Housetop, by Neera,
His Beloved Wife, by Masuccio of Salerno,
The Sorcerer, by Grazia Deledda,
The Lost Purse, by Giovanni Battista Giraldi Cinthio,
The Woodcutter's Ass, by Michele Colombo,
R. Schumann: Op. 68, by Antonio Fogazzaro,
The Shouting Corpse, by Masuccio of Salerno,
The Fountain of Pietrarsa, by Renato Fucini,
The Alchemist, by Celio Malespini,
A few of these are pirated translations done by Thomas Roscoe, which are noted on the
pages. The other translators are unknown, for now, but I am trying to find out who they
might be and will let you know, when I know.
Torey's choice from The New Pun Book today, p. 76:
"I see villainy in your face," said a judge to a prisoner.
"May it please your honor," said the latter, "that is a personal
reflection."
Mike's choice is from p. 100:
We don't always know just how the "other half" lives; but, in Chicago, the
"better half" lives on her alimony.
August 3, 2006. The rest of The Italian Novelists, by Thomas Roscoe (except Boccaccio), is
now online. Phew! 45 authors and 126 stories from the 13th to the 19th century! 619 pages in
one volume in a microscopic font size. (previous editions were in 3 volumes in normal size print):
TorEy has picked the pun for today, from The New Pun Book, p. 124:
CUSTOMER -- Why do you call this electric cake?
BAKER'S BOY -- I 'spose becuz it has currants in it.
Book 10, and the last, of The Aethiopica, by Heliodorus is now proofed! Only the table of
contents to go.
August 1, 2006. A very good story by Lorenzo Magalotti, a 17th century Italian novelist,
translated by Thomas Roscoe, is now online.
From The New Pun Book, p. 62:
Sailors are not fond of agricultural implements usually, but they
always welcome the cry of "Land-hoe!"
July 31, 2006. Another translation by Roscoe is online:
Gianfrancesco Altanesi
Book IX, The Great Battle, from the Aethiopica by Heliodorus, is now proofed.
From The New Pun Book, p. 74:
--"When Mrs. Riley died she left $40,000 sewed up in her bustle."
--"Dear me! That's a lot of money to leave behind."
July 30, 2006. From The New Pun Book, p. 36:
"Why do all bank cashiers run to Canada?"
"Give it up."
"Because that's the only place Toronto."
A mildly interesting discovery, there was a series of books published by Haldeman, called The Little Blue
Books, in the early decades of the 20th century. One of these volumes, Woman's Way and Other Short
Stories of Italian Lore, consists of three stories by Thomas Roscoe which have been 'borrowed",
without acknowledgment of his work as the translator. The translations are identical it seems. The
very kind owner, Kathy Carter, of Cat's Cradle Books, verified this for me, by reading sections of the
translations of each of the stories in her copy over the phone. The authors chosen by Haldeman to
include were Bisaccioni, Illicini and Massuccio Salernitano (aka Masuccio of Salerno), and are from the
book, The Italian Novelists, which is now almost completely online here.
Kathy, very nicely, also clued me in to the new book-selling website, IOBA Books, for serious and
ethical antiquarian booksellers, who have left abe.com because they have lowered their standards for
inclusion on their website, and also raised their prices prohibitively to list on them.
I have written to abe.com about the decrease in reliability of their sellers, and the sad news of their
raising prices to the sellers, which means ruin to many of the small but choice sellers which relied on this
platform. It also means higher prices to buyers, and the chance of having a bad online experience with
the new crop of sellers who are not as carefully screened for reliability and ethical standards as in times
past. The response from abe.com was that they raised their prices to be able to offer coupons! A
poor move all around, it seems to me.
I am very glad I found this new resource, seeing as I rely on online booksellers to find the rare books I
put online. And yes, in the last 6 months, I have met several booksellers who were not nice and/or
honest via abe. And many, many more wonderful ones who are leaving abe because of the price
increase.
Which reminds me, some more stories of 18th and 19th century novelists, translated by
Thomas Roscoe, in The Italian Novelists, are now online:
Albergati Capacelli,
Francesco Soave.
Continuing to work on Tales from the Italian and Spanish, Volume III, now online are:
The Escape from the Tomb, by Giovanni Boccaccio,
Funeral Eulogies, by Eugenio De Marchi,
Calandrino's Mistake, by Giovanni Boccaccio,
Calandrino's Pig, by Giovanni Boccaccio,
Alimek, by Francesco Soave,
The Disguise, by Matteo Bandello,
Two Capons for Nothing, by Alessandro Sozzini,
Turlendana Returns, by Gabriele D'Annunzio,
The Gentle Art of Lying, by Ortenso Lando,
Five of these are pirated from Roscoe's book, with mere changes in paragraph formatting, and
Americanization of the spelling.
July 28, 2006. Four more 16th century Italian authors are online, from the translation of
Thomas Roscoe in The Italian Novelists:
Giovanni Bottari,
Maiolino Bisaccioni, two stories,
The Cordelier Metamorphosed, attributed to Michele Colombo from the Borromeo collection,
Scipione Bargagli.
From The New Pun Book, p. 22:
Don't take a bull by the horns; take him by the tail, then you can
let go without getting some one to help you.
July 26, 2006. Mike Mullins (aka 'Houston' or SuperMike) chose this, from The New Pun
Book, p. 24:
Some of us have more ups and downs in this world than others, but when
we get to the cemetery, we will all be on the dead level.
July 24, 2006. By Heliodorus: Book VIII, Chariclea's Trial, of The Ethiopica, is now proofed.
July 23, 2006. And still more from Tales from the Italian and Spanish, Volume III, Stories of
Humor and Adventure, are online:
A Resurrection, by Anton-Francesco Doni,
The Lost Bracelet, by Count Carlo Gozzi,
The Gentleman Baker, by Giovanni Boccaccio (translator unknown),
The One Who Broke the Pipe, by Emilio De Marchi (translator unknown),
The Pious Brigand, by Giovanni Boccaccio (translator unknown),
The Faithful Servant, by Marco Cademosto Da Lodi,
The Persian Peasant, Anonymous,
The Three Blind Beggars, by Franco Sacchetti,
The Dutiful Son, by Franco Sacchetti,
The Thief and the Cavalier, by Luigi Sanvitale,
The Interloper, by Girolamo Parabosco,
The Bandit Chief, by Giovanni Battista Giraldi Cinthio,
The Teacher Taught, by Ser Giovanni Fiorentino,
The Fearsome Man, by Franco Sacchetti,
Again, all but three are uncredited translations by Thomas Roscoe, taken from The Italian
Novelists.
Tor(e)y as selected the puns today from The New Pun Book, p. 8:
"If you should die, what would you do with your body?"
"I don't know."
"I'd sell mine to a medical student."
"Then you'd be giving yourself dead away."
and from p. 117:
"If," said the druggist, "you will give this new tonic a trial I'm sure you
will never use any other."
"Excuse me," rejoined the customer, "but I prefer something less
fatal."
July 21, 2006. More from Tales from the Italian and Spanish, Volume III, Stories of Humor
and Adventure published by the Review of Reviews Co., now online are:
The Wonderful Parrot, by Italo Mario Palmarini (translator unknown),
Ciacco Gets Even, by Guiovanni Boccaccio (translator unknown),
The Return of the Corsair, by Giovanni Boccacio,
Saving the Grapes, by Count Carlo Gozzi,
The Courier's Defense, by Asacanio Mori da Ceno (proofed),
The Journey of the Monk, by Giovanni Bottari.
All but the first are pirated from Thomas Roscoe's translations in "The Italian Novelists,"
which is almost complete on Elfinspell as well.
Today's pun, selected by Tor(e)y, from The New Pun Book, p. 95:
"I hear Smith, the sea captain, is in hard luck. He married a girl and she ran
away from him."
"Yes, he took her for a mate, but she was a skipper."
July 20, 2006. Perfidious! a short story by Girolamo Rovetta is online and partially
proofed. The translator from the Italian is unknown.
Two from p. 1 of The New Pun Book:
"How are you to-day?"
"Oh, I can't kick."
"Thought you were ill."
"I am - I have the gout."
and:
"Let me see," said the minister, who was filling out the marriage certificate and
had forgotten the date, "this is the fifth, is it not?"
"No, sir!" said the bride, with some indignation, "this is only my third!"
July 19, 2006. Phew! A long week and a half of remodeling is done, of course
coinciding with a major heat wave, (obviously due to my plans which included taking out
windows to paint trims and sashing and leaving them to dry -- no a.c. for 2 days, ensuring
that the temperature would be over 95 degrees!) They don't call it sweat equity for nothin'.
Hanging out the windows to paint sure keeps Torey out of mischief during summer break.
Jared Hayes, a new friend, and ace pressure-washer (which requires major muscles that
I have never owned in my life) has picked out the joke for today from The New Pun Book,
p. 8:
Love they say is blind. Well: if so marriage must be an eye-opener.
July 16, 2006. Book VII, The Wanton Princess, from Heliodorus' The Aethiopica,
is now proofed.
From p. 56, of The New Pun Book:
"You have a bad cold," he said.
"I have," she replied huskily. "I am so hoarse that if you
attempted to kiss me I couldn't even scream."
July 12, 2006. Three Anonymous Italian Novels from about the 16th century, translated by Thomas
Roscoe, are online and partially proofed.
And from The New Pun Book, p. 15:
"Here's an account of a hen which layed three eggs at once, and then died,"
remarked Mrs. Sumway.
"From over-eggsertion, probably," commented her husband.
July 10, 2006. From The New Pun Book, p. 33:
"Did you hear about Miss Jones?"
"No. What's up?"
"Why, she eloped with one of the boarders in the hotel."
"Oh, that was only a roomer!"
July 9, 2006. An excellent story, far better than I was lead to expect by Roscoe's review, is up, by
Salvuccio Salvucci from the 16th century. It is very sophisticated and funny as well as being a
masterpiece of diplomacy in action.
Book VI, The Witch of Bessa, by Heliodorus, from The Aethiopica is now proofed.
From p. 7, of The New Pun Book:
"I saw a big rat in my cook-stove and when I went for my revolver he ran out."
"Did you shoot him?"
"No. He was out of my range."
July 8, 2006. More Thomas Roscoe, translating some of the stories of Celio Malespini from the
sixteenth century, is up and partially proofed.
Just to show that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Tor(e)y picked this from The New Pun
Book, p. 87:
A farmer once called his cow "Zephyr,"
She seemed such an amiable hephyr.
When the farmer drew near,
She kicked off his ear,
And now the old farmer's much dephyr.
July 7, 2006. From The New Pun Book, p. 78:
"That was a pretty good dog story, wasn't it?" asked Dinwiddie, as he finished
telling one.
"Yes," replied Gaswell: "but it was too long. It ought to have been curtailed."
July 6, 2006. Book V, The Pirate Chief, by Heliodorus from The Aethiopica is proofed. TorEy (Bill
variant), back from Alaska for the summer, tattoo of a crazed parakeet and all.
Which reminds me, Bill Thayer's Diary for his visit here last month to Jenkins, Kentucky is up on his
website.
July 3, 2006. Two from The New Pun Book, p. 3, since I missed putting one up yesterday:
"You know Fatty Schultz the butcher. What do you suppose he weighs?"
"I don't know, what does he weigh?"
"Meat."
"I saw a sign in a hardware store today 'Cast iron sinks.' As though everyone
wasn't wise to that."
More Thomas Roscoe online, translating some stories by Ascanio Mori da Ceno, partially proofed.
July 2, 2006. Two tales by Sebastiano Erizzo, and one by Niccolo Granucci translated by Thomas
Roscoe, are up and partially proofed. Both of these stories were later printed in the US and pirated.
No translator was acknowledged, the only difference is in changing the number of paragraphs,
Americanized spelling, and the intro, all of which can be seen if you want to compare this with the
pirated version, also up on Elfinspell. The first by Erizzo was in this collection called The Prisoner's Wife,
and the one by Granucci, The Rescue of Polidoro.
July 1, 2006. Thomas Roscoe's translation of some of the short stories by
Anton-Francesco Doni are up, partially proofed.
From The New Pun Book, p. 3:
"He's a professional grafter."
"Who?"
"The nurseryman."
June 30, 2006. Proofread Sansovino.
Speaking of fashion, from The New Pun Book, p. 44:
"When were walking-sticks first invented?"
"When?"
"When Eve presented Adam with a little Cain."
June 29, 2006. Proofread Bandello. Probably because he was fun to read for the third time.
From The New Pun Book, p. 5:
You ought to sleep well,
You lie so easily!
June 28, 2006. Some more from The Italian Novelists, translated by Thomas Roscoe, the samples of
novels by Matteo Bandello, and Francesco Sansovino. Both are partially proofed (but I am almost
done with this massive book and will finally proofread it when finished). Another version, (not credited
to Thomas Roscoe) of one of Bandello's stories, The Mischievous Ape, has been up on Elfinspell for
years. It is the same exact story, but pirated, with a few added commas and slight Americanization of
the spelling, and it inspired me to find more of both Roscoe's and Bandello's work.
The Fourth Book of The Aethiopica by Heliodorus is now proofed.
And from the New Pun Book, p. 14:
"A telephone girl always reminds me of a pictured saint."
"Why?"
"There is a continual 'hello' around her head."
June 26, 2006. Some notes to explain, to those who might be curious, the references for the poem
written in May for my daughter in the middle of this page (now Archived here) which normally lists the
Latest Additions, etc.
My only daughter's middle name and usual moniker is Victoria, shortened by me to Torey, when she
was born -- or the day after (anesthesia distorts time). When she became a teen, she decided to
eliminate the "e". 'Tory' became her accepted spelling. I am grateful that she didn't change it to Tori,
and add as well an "i" with a precious circle over it. However, being apolitical and a creature of habit as
well, I told her it would be tough for me to change. For all the rest of the years since that time, the "e",
present or absent, has been a running joke -- sometimes not so very funny -- to one or the other or
both of us. Usually mild joshing on the matter occurs, with rolling eyes and raised eyebrows on either
side, and has become a custom around here.
The second comment is about the term "Lay". This was the title given to the form of the rhymed
stories and legends of the medieval period, where I have been dwelling for the last few years. It
seemed a perfect description of the poem. It was not until 1 week later, that I realized how a
thoroughly modern twenty-year-old defines the word. She laughed at first, and even more loudly
when she heard that the usual meaning had finally occurred to me. I blushed then and still blush
thinking about it.
A "Fytte" is also an old term for a stanza or canto of a long poem. I pronounce it "Fit" to myself, with
no good reason. I have heard that it should rhyme with "Fight", which is not how I prefer to sound it
out, nor will I do so, whoever is right. Besides, it is not nearly so funny to me that way.
The fourth bit of information that is necessary is that Torey took her first scuba-diving class at
Massasoit Community College at 16. Fine in the college pool during the coursework, but when
certifying, she was tested in the dim waters off the coast of Massachusetts. She found herself terrified
(gleefully, I tend to think) in the poor underwater visibility when a jellyfish would suddenly loom out of
the murk in front of her goggled face. The guys laughed for days, at the bellow of "JELLYFISH!"
coming from the midget and audible to the entire underwater group (she was the shortest by a foot or
two as well as the baby of the group). This seems to me to show some neat talent in voice projection
and elocution when a person has a mouthpiece and oxygen tank. fins and wet-suit on (plus 100 odd
pounds of lead shot to make her sink). She has never been stung by a jellyfish in her life, by the way.
The fifth bit, hydra and medusa are stages in the life cycle of a jellyfish, or something close to it, as I
dimly recalled from ancient biology classes.
The sixth note is that Tor(e)y is off yonder in far distant Alaska studying marine biology, so she knows
the life cycle of jellyfish and flies back for the summer soon. A poem instead of more luggage plus a
recertification course in diving seemed like better presents for her birthday in May than more stuff to
tote home.
Of course, some of the fun for her (and me), was the fact that the poem appeared a few days in a row
on the New Stuff page. The first part, the Prologue, was on the day before her birthday, May 13th.
The next part below that, the Second Fytte, appeared on the 14th, the big day. Scrolling up from the
13th of May, it is apparent that the other verses were added daily for two more days. The poem thus
makes more sense starting from the 13th and scrolling upwards to the next 2 days. Starting from the
top of the page and going down and back in time, it is "a little" more confusing.
There ought to be a lot more to the poem, but I was abandoned by the Muses at that point and am
awaiting a revisitation. If the past is any marker, sometime in the next 25 years, you can come back to
read the rest of "The Toriad".
The last comment, I began the poem on the 13th of May, when the idea occurred to me, and wrote
each part on the day it went up. It just came to me out of the ether for some reason. I do sincerely
wish I know why or how so I could do it at will.
Now back to normal matter, more or less. Am feeling the need to do more proofreading of what's up
already, and will probably add smaller chunks of content as I do this. Also my aversion to scanning and
internal and external links has to be overcome soon and I hope to add the necessary pictures. Shorter
amounts of new material will still go up, or where's the fun? But improving the existing texts is now
my goal for the next few weeks. Don't hold me to it. As always, if anybody is really bothered by any
particular lack they come across, or might need clarification of soon, they can e-mail me and I will be
encouraged (and delighted) with the feedback to fix any problem or concern sooner. . . if I know how.
With that depressing agenda, the need for a pun has become overwhelming, so from p. 55 of The New
Pun Book:
WEEKS -- Well, how are things over in Boston? Have they named any new pie
"Aristotle" yet?
WENTMAN -- No-o. But I heard a man there ask for a Plato soup.
June 25, 2006. Not medieval, but closer - another from The New Pun Book (1906), p. 129:
Charlemagne was in need of amusement.
"Why," they asked him, "do you have such a large number of court jesters in
constant attendance on your royal person?"
"Because," he replied, with a right regal chuckle, "I could not earn the surname
of "The Great" were I not careful to keep my wits about me."
One more, from p. 29:
If a woman would change her sex, what would her religion be?
She would be a he-then, of course.
June 15, 2006. First stage of move complete, rest problematic. Obviously. Forgot how to type.
Looking forward to medieval immersion as soon as possible.
Can manage one joke from The New Pun Book, p. 127:
"Have you much room in your new flat?"
"Room! Mercy me, I should think not. Why, our kitchen and dining-
room are so small that we have to use condensed milk."
May 28, 2006. Continuing to move across town today. Oh, my aching trapezii! Typing is no
preparation for toting bales and book boxes. Dollar General Mike has been a huge help, with more
muscles in his left pinky finger than in my whole body. And being smart and funny, could make moving
more fun than I thought possible. It's going to be 93 degrees today after being in the 40's 2 weeks
ago. Just the sort of day to have to be lugging furniture!
No more whining, just a limerick (while I can still type), from p. 63:
A lady who lived at Bordeaux,
Had a corn on her right little teaux;
She borrowed a razor,
For her skill we must praise her,
For the corn is gone, (so is her teaux).
May 26, 2006. From 700 Limerick Lyrics, page 44:
A wise man exploring the Nile
Said, "The Sphinx is no doubt all the style,
But yonder there be
Other ruins, I see,
And I'll peer-amid those for awhile.
May 25, 2006. From p. 141:
If t-o-u-g-h spells tough,
And d-o-u-g-h- spells dough,
Does s-n-o-u-g-h- spell snuff?
Or, simply snow?
May 23, 2004. From the New Pun Book, p. 81:
"Have you received last month's gas bill, dear?"
"Yes, husband,"
"Well, what's the charge of the light brigade?"
May 22, 2006. The Aethiopica by Heliodorus, translated by Thomas Underdowne in
1587, revised and corrected by F. A. Wright, is up (with further corrections by S.
Rhoads for the Online Edition). It has been partially proofed.
An adventure story, this is the first full length adventure prose novel (from the West)
that has been preserved completely. Heliodorus appears to have written it about the
third century A. D. It is excellent.
Go to the Archives for the chronological record of the additions for the past 2
years.