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From The Wit and Humor of America, edited by Marshall P. Wilder, Volume III, New York and London: Funk and Wagnalls and Company, 1911; pp. 540-541.




The Little Mock-Man on the Stairs — 

He mocks the lady’s horse ’at rares

At bi-sickles an’ things, — 

He mocks the mens ’at rides ’em, too;

An’ mocks the Movers, drivin’ through,

An’ hollers “Here’s the way you do

With them-air hitchin-strings!”

“Ho! ho!” he’ll say,

Ole Settlers’ Day,

When they’re all jogglin’ by, — 

“You look like this,”

He’ll say an’ twis’

His mouth an’ squint his eye

An’ tend like he wuz beat the bass

Drum at both ends — an’ toots and blares

Ole dinner-horn an’ puffs his face — 

The Little Mock-man on the Stairs!

The Little Mock-man on the Stairs

Mocks all the peoples all he cares

’At passes up an’ down!

He mocks the chickens round the door,

An’ mocks the girl ’at scrubs the floor,

An’ mocks the rich, an’ mocks the pore,

An’ ever’thing in town!

“Ho! ho!” says he,

To you er me;


An’ ef we turns an’ looks

He’s all cross-eyed

An’ mouth all wide

Like Giunts is, in books — 

“Ho! ho!” he yells, look here at me,”

An’ rolls his fat eyes roun’ an’ glares, — 

You look like this” he says, says he — 

The Little-Mock-Man on the Stairs!

The Little Mock — 

The Little Mock — 

The Little Mock-man on the Stairs

He mocks the music-box an’ clock,

An’ roller-sofy an’ the chairs;

He mocks his Pa an’ spec’s he wears;

He mocks the man ’at picks the pears

An’ plums an’ peaches on the shares;

He mocks the monkeys an’ the bears

On picture-bills, an’ rips an’ tears

’Em down, — an’ mocks ist all he cares,

An’ EVER’body EVER’wheres!

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