LATEST EXHIBITS, deeds, and chores:
(not including endless work on Froissart and fixing
stuff and learning more tech stuff and typing.
October 28, 2006. Found (!!!) The New Pun Book (1906), from p. 48:
"Did the fisherman have frog's legs, Bridget?"
"Sure I couldn't see, mum; he had his pants on."
The first two Chapters of The Life of Poggio Bracciolini, by the Reverend William
Shepherd, in 1837, are online and partially proofed. The first printed joke book by
Poggio, was not the only reason he was famous enough to deserve a biography. It is
good enough for me, though, see some of his jokes here, translated by Edward Storer,
and another translation, with some of the same ones and some that are new, by an
anonymous translator here.
Chapter II contains another translation of Poggio's letter about the trial and murder of
Jerome of Prague for heresy which is online already by another translator. There is also a
delightful description of Poggio's stay at the Baths in Baden, Germany, in 1416 A. D., a
resort that looked like a good place to vacation even now by our standards.
Not only is this the first biography of Poggio, William Shepherd was a good man himself,
practicing what he preached, as seen in this passage from Chapter I, pp. 14-15:
"When will a sufficient number of instances have been recorded by
the pen of history, of nations harrassing each other by the outrages
of war, and after years of havock and bloodshed, when exhausted by
exertions beyond their natural strength, agreeing to forget the
original subject of dispute, and mutually to resume the station which
they occupied at the commencement of the contest. “Were subjects
wise,” that would be their reflections, when their rulers, after the
most lavish waste of blood, coolly sit down and propose to each other
the status quo ante bellum. Happy would it be, could the status quo
be extended to the widow and the orphans -- to the thousands and
tens of thousands, who, in consequence of the hardship and accidents
of war, are doomed to languish out the remnant of their lives in
torment and decrepitude."
Now from The New Pun Book, p. 46;
Girls and billiard balls kiss each other with just about the same
amount of real feeling.
Also online, by Henry of Huntingdon (Archdeacon of Huntingdon): The Letter to Walter,
the Archdeacon of Oxford, on Contempt of the World, dated 1135 A. D., less than a
century after the Norman Conquest of England. The translation is by Thomas Forester.
It is a description of the famous people he has known during his lifetime.
The New Pun Book, p. 70:
"Oh, I am awfully worried. I walk in my sleep."
"I only wish I could do it. If I could I'd still have my job on
the police force."
More short extracts on Roman Britain are online, from Edward P. Cheyney's, Readings in
English History, on Agricola in England by Tacitus, on Hadrian's Wall by Aelius
Spartianus, The War by the Emperor Severus in Britain by Herodianus, evidence of
Christianity by the British signers at the Church Council at Arles, in Gaul (France), entries
from the Notitia Dignitatum on some of the titles of officers governing Roman Britain,
Gildas' account of the waning of the rule of the Romans and the attacks by the Picts and
Scots, a few Roman Inscriptions and a old Anglo-Saxon poem called The Ruined City,
describing some of the remains of their occupation.
The New Pun Book, p. 153:
YEAST -- Did you every try to dye eggs?
CRIMSONBEAK -- No, I never did; but I've tried 'em after they were
dead.
Puttering about still, some definitions and explanations about older English terms, from
A Short History of English Rural Life by Montague Fordham, from the Appendix. Online
are the sections: The Tùn, The Vill and The Parish, Socage Tenants, and Names of the
Various Features of Common, Arable and Meadow Land. All this is wonderfully helped by
the book's frontispiece: The Plan Showing Arrangement of the Land in a XIIth Century
Manor, with a population of about 150, done by Mr. Widlake of Bristol.
The New Pun Book, p. 159:
"In my business," said the stock broker, "it is impossible to succeed
without pluck."
"Huh!" snorted the man who had been up against it, "you mean
'plucking,' don't you?"
My Intro, Chapter VIII, The Pentateuch, and the Preface by James T. Shotwell, from An
Introduction to the History of History is online, partially proofed. Chapters 6 and 7 are
now proofed.
And some pictures of modes of transportation of the late 19th century in France, e. g. -
a tilbury, a victoria, a dog-cart, a train, etc., from François Berger's (1896) French
Method, pp. 84-85. He taught French in New York City and was a Chevalier de la Légion
D'Honneur.
The pictures were taken from The Dictionary of P. Larousse.
Last one, or now, from The New Pun Book (I was a few days behind!), p. 118:
COURTNEY -- When you proposed to Miss Dexter did you get down on
your knees?
BARCLAY -- No, I couldn't; she was sitting on them.
October 26, 2006. Online: Some of Edward P. Cheyney's translations of excerpts of Dio
Cassius and Tacitus regarding the Roman invasion of Britain, and the attack led by
Boadicea and her daughters to attempt to prevent the conquest and their enslavement.
Something eerie, and approved by Torey, for Halloween, a sonnet by Shakespeare:
Full fathom five thy father lies:
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that did fade,
But did suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell:
Hark! now I hear them, --
Ding, dong, bell.
("doth" is the original word, but here modernized by me to "did")
October 25, 2006. Another chapter of Some Lies and Errors of History is online, my
least favorite by Reuben Parsons, called Bruno and Campanella. As a Catholic priest, it is
fine for him to attempt to correct some of the many injustices to his peers. Trying to
dispel some of the more atrocious historical falsehoods cast by non-Catholics is laudable.
In this case, he found proof that he was wrong and included this information in the
Appendix. It is rare to see anybody acknowledge and correct a mistake in any field,
even though it was based on lack of available information to support the original view.
This is truly an admirable and ethical approach to History.
Unfortunately, finding out that the Church had behaved despicably, by burning Bruno, a
fellow priest, for his non-traditional religious beliefs was not only not accompanied by
any objection to the action, but is accompanied by extolling and glorifying and
sanctioning of those other priests whose job it is to accompany the condemned to
execution, The Consolers, and to try to get the victims to repent their heresy all the way
to the stake. If such repentance does not occur, there are deemed deserving both of
their death and of hell. If they do repent, they then die anyway but are comforted by
their regained chance of reaching Heaven. There was no regret and no remorse for
murder shown by those that did the condemning or those that sanctioned it by allowing
and abetting it, like these last, or by their 19th century apologist. Obviously, his work
must be read and judged with care and judgment.
"Thou shalt not kill," A commandment originally one of the ten Christian absolute
imperatives, that too many practitioners have since been re-interpreted and emended
from it's clear and unequivocal rule to make exceptions for anybody at all and for any
convenient reason. The modern version and majority opinion (thus wars, lynchings, and
death penalties) appears to be "Thou shalt not kill me!"
In Boston, the grown-ups I talk to, all good people, who went to Catholic school, are
taught that the Pope is always right and past Popes were always right as well. They are
also taught that the Church can decide that killing some people is right and Christian.
Having heard this their entire childhood, many listen to fatal examples of Catholic
intolerance of opinion with initial disbelief and are startled uncomfortably when their
adult experiences force them to re-examine and question, almost immediately, this
lifelong belief.
In Kentucky, I notice, the belief is that there is only one real Bible, and that there is only
one real authentic version is rampant. There is no hesitation, no discomfort, and no
pause to consider, when these nice people hear that this might not be the case, because
there is absolutely no doubt in their minds that the Bible is the only history that is true,
both as history and as dogma.
All that to say, An Introduction to the History of History, by James T. Shotwell, is a
welcome book on the subject of historical bias and distortion, along with the history of
attempts to make History as true, factual and fair as possible and with the reasons it
often isn't. There is no rant, no insults or bullying of anyone, and the voice of Sweet
(and kind) Reason, with the welcome, necessary addition of tolerance, prevails
throughout.
Now since a little consolation is sweet, to balance the sadness of overwhelming,
perpetual, fatal intolerance, here is a reminder that lethal bigotry is not some universal
genetic trait of mankind. It is well shown in a wistful sonnet written in 1879:
Most men know love but as a part of life:
They hide it in some corner of the breast,
Even from themselves; and only when they rest, --
In the brief pauses of that daily strife
Wherewith the world might else be not so rife, --
They draw it forth (as one draws forth a toy
To soothe some ardent kiss-exacting boy)
And hold it up, to sister, child, or wife.
Ah me! why may not love and life be one!
Why walk we thus alone, when by our side
Love like a visible God might be our guide?
How would the marts grow noble, and the street,
Worn, now, like dungeon-floors by weary feet,
Seem like a golden court-way of the sun!
This gem was found in Shakspere and his Forerunners, by Sidney Lanier, Doubleday,
Page & Co.; 1901 p. 170
October 23, 2006. Two chapters from Reuben Parsons' Some Lies and Errors of
History: Pope Alexander VI. and The Alleged Ante-Mortem Funeral of Charles V. are
online and partially proofed.
Also, a wonderful discovery, the premier French Renaissance poet Pierre de Ronsard --
see for yourself in this poem translated by Curtis Hidden page. Justin (one of the
Gemini, was awed despite his focus on his MBA studies). He and his brother Jamie,
though bright and brawny still have a ways to go to match their father, Mike who is
Zeus of course! A blinding trio, for sure, their brilliance is a reflection of their goodness.
Some more site revising done. Big Fat Yawn.
It's that time again, Flu Season, and in case you were thinking of passing up a flu shot,
read what happened to some folks before there was such a luxury, as told by J. P.
McElvoy in the early 20th century after the Spanish Flu Epidemic.
The New Pun Book has gone missing, no sniggering please.
October 22, 2006. Chapters 1-5 of Shotwell's An Introduction to the History of History
are all finally proofed. Chapter 6 and 7 are up but only partially proofed.
Finally did a lot revamping of the older pages, fixing links and stuff. A Royal Pain!
October 21, 2006. October 20, 2006. Some Sallust, In English and Latin, is online. The
Introduction by J. C. Rolfe and his English translation of Letters and Orations from the
Histories, with the Latin text he used is proofed!
From The New Pun Book, p. 112:
The following is a resolution of an Irish corporation: "That a new
jail should be built, that this be done out of the material of the
old one, and the old jail to be used until the new one be
completed."
City Niece -- "The windows in our new church are stained."
Country Aunt -- "Ain't that a pity. Can't they get nothing to take if
off?"
Broker -- "Don't you find it easier to shave some men that
others?"
Barber -- "Yes; don't you?"
"Say Dad, what is an expert accountant?"
"An expert accountant," replied the father, "is a man who
becomes famous by robbing a bank for two years before he is
discovered."
Some men get up with the lark, while others want a swallow
the first thing in the morning.
HE -- Time and tide wait for no man.
SHE -- No, but a woman will.
October 18, 2006. My brief introduction, the Title, and Table of Contents for Roscoe's,
The Italian Novelists are up. The Tables of Contents is adequate and works, though it is
not perfect yet.
Chapter I and Chapter II of An Introduction to the History of History, by James T.
Shotwell are proofed.
October 17, 2006. All of the text of Roscoe's, The Italian Novelists is finally proofed.
That calls for a pun! From The New Pun Book, p. 117:
"If," said the druggist, "you will give this new tonic a trial I'm sure
you will never use any other."
"Excuse me," rejoined the customer, "but I prefer something less
fatal."
October 10, 2006. Mother's Geese, a (Teddy) Roosevelt era parody by some of the
bright literary stars of New York City at that time, has been reformatted. One picture is
still missing, because of the difficulty in touching it up. My Photoshop IQ is still to be
classified as barely educable. That, though, is an improvement.
One of the poems, by George Barr Baker, is still personally applicable at odd times, both
to me and to T. I am committing it to memory (better late than never) because it
sounds a lot better this way!--
Mother, may I go out go play?
Oh yes, my darling daughter;
But remember the things you'd like to do
Are the things you had n't oughter.
FYI: As you can see, the punctuation was different in the early 1900's. The "n't" was in
common use, and considered correct by the highest standards. Many examples of this
can be demonstrated, especially here on Elfinspell, in Queed for example, a novel by
Henry Sydnor Harrison, in an edition chosen by a Massachusetts High School teacher,
Elizabeth Shepardson Curtis, as an ideal example of The New American Novel.
Also of note, the book has no page numbers, which I always include if they are in the
original text.
Much more of The Italian Novelists, by Thomas Roscoe, is finally proofed [sic] for typos.
And I apologize to poor Ben for not proofing this twice immediately! But now Ben
Franklin's Wit and Humor is proofed and unsullied by the vagaries of both Spell-check
and my erratic and unpredictable proofing myopia.
October 8, 2006. Just learned something new today about one of those things which I
had never questioned, but took for granted. The difference between capital and capitol.
Here is what the The Free Online Dictionary says:
"Usage Note: The term for a town or city that serves as a seat of
government is spelled capital. The term for the building in which a legislative
assembly meets is spelled capitol."
In other words, Washington D.C., the city, is the capital of the United States, but the
building where Congress meets is the capitol.
October 7, 2006. Two more stories from Half-Hours with the Best Humorous Authors
(1889):
Mrs. Brundy's Dream, Anonymous.
A Piano in Arkansas, by Thomas Bangs Thorpe.
Not forgetting The New Pun Book, from p. 42:
An old lady, being told that a certain lawyer "was lying at the
point of death," exclaimed: "My Gracious! Won't even death stop
that man's lying?"
October 3, 2006. More of Thomas Roscoe's The Italian Novelists is proofed.
October 2, 2006. The weekend was far, far too short! However, it was grand! One of
the best parts was talking with the nice people who work at a very good bookstore in
Somerville, MA.
They don't wear name-tags, and so I can't acknowledge them individually. However,
one nice guy, though he didn't like the pun from 1907, I used to illustrate the value of
my website (!!!), did say he would be interested in some examples of Benjamin
Franklin's humor. So I typed it all up and some samples of the Wit of Benjamin Franklin
are now online (partially proofed). His own pun was quite good and very subtle, which is
excellent.
Note, the first selection must be read to the end to be convinced of his wonderful sense
of humor.
A little worried, that my sense of humor might be permanently warped, I tried out the
same pun at the Starbuck's across the street. The cashier and the college student in
line, too, both cracked up. Whew!
Another nice guy at the bookstore, had the courtesy to look pleased when I showed him
the delights of a book he had on the shelf (which is on my to-put-online list), and put it
aside to look at later (or reshelve after I left, I don't know for sure.)
The only female employee, (so gorgeous and smart that she adds luster to the Old Book
Business,) being equally friendly, pretended, thankfully, to remember me from 2 previous
visits, when I updated her about my progress on the website.
Concentrating on positivity (with me, coping seems to elicit couplets at times),
remembering the two of the few, very few, good parts of last week led to a[n] hosanna
for Jeanie, and this reverie for David. Although of doubtful merit and unknown
reception, writing them cheered me up!
Go to the Archives for the chronological record of the
additions for the past 2 years.