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From Choice Humor for Reading and Recitation, Compiled by Charles C. Shoemaker; The Penn Publishing Company, Philadelphia, 1919; pp. 141-142.



MISS ALPHA, though she led her class,
Was yet a most unlovely lass:
She had a little sister Theta,
And she would often bang and Beta,
And push and pinch, and pound and pelt her.
And many a heavy blow she Delta;
So that the kitten, e’en would Mu,
When Theta’s sufferings she Nu.
142 This Alpha was so bad to Theta,
That every time she chanced to meet her
She looked as though she longed to Eta;
And oft’ against the wall she jammed her,
And oft’ she took a stick and Lambda;
And for the pain and tears she brought her
She pitied her not one Iota;
But with a sly and wicked eye
Would only say, “Oh, fiddle, Phi!”

Then Theta cried with noisy clamor,
And ran and told her grief to Gamma,
And Gamma, with a pitying Psi,
Would give the little girl some Pi,
And say, “Now darling mustn’t Khi!”

Two Irish lads of ruddy cheek,
Were living just across the creek —
Their names, Omicron and Omego;
The one was small, the other bigger.
For Alpha, so demure and “striking,”
Omego took an ardent liking;
And Mike, when first he chanced to meet her
Fell deep in love with little Theta;
And oft at eve the boys would go
And on the pleasant waters Rho.

So when the little hapless Theta
Nu Alpha was about to Beta,
She down upon the bank would Zeta
And cry aloud and shout like fun —
“Run, Mike! run, Micky! Omicron!”


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