THE GARDEN
                        
                         OF

                MAECENAS


              
               PLUCK THE FRUITS!


         Don't just donate, do good
              and Get Something !!!



    ELFINSPELL IS NON-PROFIT BUT NOT A .ORG.  
    (TOO MUCH PAPERWORK AND BUREAUCRATIC
    MALARKEY).


    SHOULD YOU WISH TO HELP SUSTAIN IT, YOU MAY
    AND WE THANK YOU.  WE BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD
    BENEFIT FROM YOUR KINDNESS.   AS WE GO, THERE WILL
    BE MANY SOUVENIRS FOR DONATIONS TO SUPPORT THE  
    PEOPLE WHOSE WORK WE BELIEVE IN.

    CHECK OUT THEIR WORK BELOW.  NOT ONLY WILL YOU
    FEEL GOOD, THINK WHAT THESE FOLKS COULD DO IF
    THEY HAD MONEY ALONG WITH THEIR GENIUS!  PLUS,
    YOU GET A PRESENT, AND AN ONLINE
    ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, IF YOU WISH,
    AND A THANK YOU!!!  NOTE.


           THE REWARD FOR HELPING?

    At last! It's here and ready. The first
    edition of the honest person's
    revenge (click on the link):


     My Liary  



    You know just who deserves this
    present. A gentle, funny gift that
    confronts a problem behavior, with a smile.

    And that's not all!

    WE HAVE THE PERFECTLY UNIQUE GIFT, ESPECIALLY
    FOR CERTAIN FOLKS WHO NEED A BIG FAT HINT.

    You (obviously) are warm-hearted.

    Don't you wish a few people you know were too?

    As a prod to those who need reminding that everything is
    not all about them, we have the ideal suggestion for you: via
    St. Valentine, or St. Nicholas, or The Birthday Fairy, or
    whoever provides an excuse for you to do a little good --
    and laugh!

    YOU WILL -- FOR A (Minimum) TEN DOLLAR
    DONATION (PLUS POSTAGE)-- BE ONE OF THE
    LUCKY ONES, WHO HAS THE PERFECT PRESENT
    TO GIVE TO THOSE  WHO NEED A GENTLE HINT!

    For those with that ol' Coal, Coal Heart that's makin' you  
    blue (e.g. the dear ones with rocks in their heads).  Or just
    for fun.  

    An Honest-to-Pete, fresh-picked, all natural LUMP
    of COAL. The Rock of Ages no less.   Not your machine
    marred piece of charcoal, but the real thing, fresh from the
    mountains of Appalachia.   A Raw Rock, bare naked.  A Pre-
    BBQ Briquette au natural.  A proto-diamond, even.  

    Makes a great, but messy  paperweight.   We'll pick it for you
    ourselves (None come from the evil-minded types of mining
    operations around here, so that means it's free-range coal.)   

    Our choice of ribbon and mylar wrap, though,
    (there are only 2 stores in these here hills -- coal is easier to
    come by).

    It's light, and postage will be minor, depending on
    your time frame.  Contact us and we will get all the
    details from you:  like the recipient of the coal and
    the recipient you choose of your donation.   

    They will get all the money, too.   

    TAKE A GANDER AND SEE.

    THEN TO GET ONE LUMP OR TWO (OR TWENTY EVEN),
    after all, if one is good, why not a carbon copy?

         
                                
CONTACT US.
LUMP OF COAL

    Alright!  So you want more choices.  How about an
    original T-shirt slogan?   Now we have them, too.

    These are good quality cotton T's, with heat-set transfers
    done by Anita at Fielder's Choice in Pound, Virginia.  The
    ideas are ours, the excellent work is hers.

    All come in M, L or XL at present.  Special orders for
    other sizes are possible, naturally.  Contact us for
    ordering.

    For a picture of each shirt, click on the slogan or the
    thumbnail.  The print color is the same for each type, the
    colors available for that shirt are shown in the teeny
    striped box.  The photos have been done by Gary
    Jessey from Dunham, Kentucky.

    (Remember, colors on the web aren't exact.)

    (Suggested minimum donation, 15 bucks, 50% goes to
    the recipient of your choice.)


FIRST SERIES

1.  Viagra won't help a limp brain!

2.  Dumb & Sweet
beats
Smart & Mean
Dumb & Sweet beats Smart 7 Mean T-Shirt
Dumb & Sweet beats Smart 7 Mean T-Shirt
Dumb & Sweet beats Smart 7 Mean T-Shirt
Are you sure your thumbs oppose?  T-shirt


4.  All I want for Christmas is a frontal lobotomy!
t-shirt: All I want for Christmas is a frontal lobotomy!



6.  Get pretty for peace!
T-shirt: Get pretty for Peace!
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go NUTS!


    AFTER YOU TAKE YOUR LUMPS, OR SNAG A SHIRT,
    [or both!] PICK WHO YOU WANT TO SUPPORT FROM
    BELOW:



                   TRAILBLAZERS AND
                                         MAVERICKS:


      IN THE UNITED STATES,  IT IS LEGAL TO
ABUSE  CHILDREN IN SCHOOL IN 21 STATES.  

    THIS INCLUDES PRE-SCHOOL, DAY-CARES,         
AND SCHOOLS FOR CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL
NEEDS.
      
 
Sound bad?  It is.  

Worse, these states get money from federal and
 state grant programs (your tax dollars), and from
 donations from a whole lot of other big dot.orgs.

   Don't support 'em with your
                 nickels, too!



    downwinders.org:

    A too small bunch of volunteers who are desperately
    working to raise awareness and assist those who were
    victimized from the radiation exposure they suffered
    when the United States tested nuclear weapons in the
    50's and 60's.  The fallout spread much farther than
    the government is willing to recognize.  How many
    more cancer victims will die?



    LacusCurtius:

    THE BIGGEST ROMAN GATEWAY ON THE WEB
    WITH A FIERCE BELIEF THAT OLD TEXTS SHOULD
    BE AVAILABLE TO ALL.  

    BILL THAYER IS A GOOD GUY.  GOOD GUYS
    SHOULD BE REWARDED.  GENEROUS THROUGH
    AND THROUGH HIS OWN LABORS, AND WITH HIS
    HELP.   MUCH OF ELFINSPELL LOOKS A WHOLE
    LOT BETTER, THANKS TO HIM.  (HE FOUND THE
    FIRST LUMP AND TOOK ITS PICTURE TOO, AND
    GAVE PERMISSION FOR ME TO
    USE IT).



    EVERYONEWHOSANYONE.COM:

    GERARD JONES HAS THE BRAVEST AUTHOR'S
    WEBSITE ON EARTH.  AND HE IS AS SWEET AS HE
    IS BRAVE.  HE WROTE GINNY GOOD, A
    WONDERFUL MOSTLY AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL
    STORY SET IN CALIFORNIA DURING THE DAYS OF
    THE FLOWER CHILDREN. MAY HE WRITE LONG
    AND PROSPER!



    THE ONLINE SUDA:

    AN ADVENTURE IN PROCESS.  DAVID
    WHITEHEAD,  FROM ACROSS THE POND,
    ATTEMPTS TO HERD A GROUP OF IMPASSIONED
    CLASSICISTS WHO ARE TRANSLATING ON LINE --
    IN BITS AND PIECES -- THE SUIDAS, A BYZANTINE
    GREEK LEXICON FROM THE DARK AGES. IF THEY
    MADE A DOLLAR OR TWO, THEY COULD GO
    FASTER.  HE'LL KNOW THE BEST USE OF YOUR
    MONEY TO GET THE JOB DONE.



    TERTULLIAN.ORG:

    ROGER PEARSE,  ALSO BEYOND THE SEA, IS
    THE GENIUS BEHIND THIS, WHO RUNS AROUND
    EUROPE PHOTOGRAPHING OLD MANUSCRIPTS
    AND TEXTS,  PUTTING THEM ONLINE FOR US ALL
    TO READ AND IS FREE WITH ADVICE AND
    COMPLIMENTS.



    MEDIEVALGENEALOGY.ORG.
    UK:  

    CHRIS PHILLIPS, A BRIT, TOO, HAS A GRAND
    WEBSITE FOR EVERYONE INTERESTED IN THE
    MIDDLE AGES OR HOPING TO FIND A KNIGHT IN
    SHINING ARMOR, OR DAMSEL IN OR OUT OF
    DISTRESS, IN THEIR FAMILY TREE.



    ATTALUS.ORG:

    ANDREW SMITH, WHO AUTHORS A
    WONDERFUL WEBSITE IN BETWEEN HIKING
    WALES.  HE HAS MY FAVORITE GREEK
    SCULPTURE OF THE DYING GAUL ON THE HOME
    PAGE.










         LIBRARIES WE HONOR:

    THE AMES FREE LIBRARY OF EASTON,
    MASSACHUSETTS -- THEY FREELY SHARE THEIR
    KNOWLEDGE AND TALENTS.


    THE SMITH COLLEGE LIBRARY AND ARCHIVES --
    THE FIRST COLLEGE I FOUND THAT ALLOWS
    NON-STUDENTS AND FACULTIES TO CHECK OUT
    BOOKS THAT ARE UNAVAILABLE ANYWHERE
    ELSE.  PLUS, ANYONE CAN USE THE ARCHIVES.


    JENKINS PUBLIC LIBRARY, FOR BEING NICE TO
    EVERYBODY, AND HELPFUL, ESPECIALLY TO BILL
    THAYER ON HIS VISIT (so he'll come visit us again).



    ELFINSPELL:

    OF COURSE THIS IS AN OPTION.   MYLAR
    AND RIBBON AREN'T FREE.   THE MORE
    DONATIONS WE RECEIVE, THE MORE WE
    CAN SUBSIDIZE  BRAINY PEOPLE WITH HEART
    AND A CONSCIOUS.   MAYBE THEN WE'LL WIN
    THE BATTLE AGAINST BRAWN AND GREED
    SOMEDAY.


    DONATIONS OF ANY AMOUNT ARE WELCOME.
    CONTACT US.

7.  Give me one good reason      
why I shouldn't go NUTS!
T-Shirt: Viagra won't help a limp brain!
Dumb & Sweet beats Smart 7 Mean T-Shirt
T-Shirt: Where am I on the brain transplant list . . . and could you put a rush on it?
Dumb & Sweet beats Smart 7 Mean T-Shirt

home


Court of
the
Muses


contact


gazump

home


Court of
the
Muses


contact


gazump

gazump.  British slang : To take back a promise to sell,
  in order to offer something more interesting.