From The Wit and Humor of America, edited by Marshall P. Wilder, Volume III, New York and London: Funk and Wagnalls and Company, 1911; pp. 522-523.
A LETTER FROM HOME*
From the Princess Boo-Lally, at Bumbo Goo, South Sea Islands, to Her Brother, Prince Umbobo, a Sophomore at Yale.
BY WALLACE IRWIN
“It is spring, my dear Umbobo,
On the isle of Gumbo Goo,
And your father, King Korobo,
And your mother long for you.
“We had missionaries Monday,
Much the finest of the year —
Our old cook came back last Sunday,
And the stews she makes are dear.
“I’ve the loveliest string of knuckles
Which dear Father gave to me,
And a pair of shin-bone buckles
Which I so wish you could see.
“You remember Mr. Booloo?
He is coming over soon
With some friends from Unatulu —
We all hope they’ll call at noon.
“Mr. Booloo’s rather slender,
But we’ll fix him up with sage,
And I think he’ll be quite tender
For a fellow of his age.523
“Genevieve O-loola’s marriage
Was arranged so very queer —
Have you read ‘The Bishop’s Carriage?’
Don’t you think it’s just too dear?
“I am hoping next vacation
I may visit you a while.
In this out-of-way location
It’s so hard to know the style.
“Will you try and match the sample
I enclose — be sure it’s green.
Get three yards — that will be ample.
Velvet, mind, not velveteen.
“Gentle mother worries badly,
And she thinks it is a shame
That a man like Dr. Hadley
Let’s you play that football game.
“For the way they hurt each other
Seems so barbarously rude —
No, you’ve not been raised, dear brother,
To do anything so crude.
“And those horrid meals at college —
Not what you’re accustomed to.
It is hard, this quest for knowledge,
But be brave.
“Your sister, Boo.”
P. S. —
“If it’s not too great a bother
And a mental overtax,
Would you send your poor old father,
C. O. D., a battle-axe?”
* From “At the Sign of the Dollar,“ by Wallace Irwin. Copyright, 1905, by Fox, Duffield & Co.