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From Rude Rural Rhymes by Bob Adams, New York: The Macmillan Company; 1925; pp. 200-201.


[200]

LADIES FIRST?

In spite of ways that often vex
And even oftener perplex
I greatly love the female sex.
I love their eyes and hair and noses.
I love their figures and their poses.
Yea, even when they’re older grown
And outward charms have partly flown,
I love them for their tenderness
And all their gentle wisdom bless.
But when at theatre or bank,
Where people stand in single rank,
All waiting in a line, by heck,
To buy a seat or cash a check,
Some woman busts in out of turn,
My angry passions rise and burn.
If she would cease to jam and squeeze
And come and ask me pretty please,
She’d likely get my place in line
Or almost any thing that’s mine,
But cheating all us waiting men
I hold is something else again.
If any man should be so crowdy
The rest would likely treat him rowdy.
[201] We’d grab the same and punch him good
And make him act the way he should.
O lady, though you’re fair and sweet,
Though form and face have Venus beat,
So that your beauty none may spurn,
Yet still I pray you wait your turn.
Although you often hear rehearsed
The well-known motto “Ladies first,”
You’ll get more favors from the panted
If you don’t take too much for granted,
And still when youthful beauty fails,
You’ll be respected by the males.






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