From Rude Rural Rhymes by Bob Adams, New York: The Macmillan Company; 1925; pp. 145-146.
THE DESCENT OF MAN
I point with pride to that old monkey
Who sired the human race, by hunky.
A faulty race both then and now,
Yet even pessimists allow
He started something anyhow.
When man first slid down from the trees,
Sloughed off his tail, unkinked his knees,
Forsook his safe old forest seat
And stood straight up on his hind feet,
He was a homely husky dub
Who scorned the weekly cleansing tub
And ruled his soul-mate with a club.
And when she talked of rights, I ween,
He did not fuss nor make a scene
But bounced big boulders off her bean.
That female of the species bluff,
He called it quick and called it rough.
He let his hair and whiskers sprout,
Save when some rival yanked them out.
He ate raw meat both hair and hide,
Then crunched the bones for fat inside.
We view this caveman with disgust
When his rude manners are discussed.
[146]
In age, in middle life and youth,
His roughneck ways were most uncouth.
Yet what we think of that old cuss
Our sons will doubtless think of us.
Give me the man whose tools had stoneheads
Instead of certain modern boneheads,
Sleek citizens who fail to vote,
Buy bootleg booze or rock the boat.