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xvCONTENTS
viiiDEVELOPMENT OF THE ENGLISH NOVEL
First Meeting between a Citizen in Spectacles and the Great Pleasure-Dog Behemoth; also of Charles Gardiner West, a Personage at Thirty.3
Mrs. Paynter’s Boarding-House: which was not founded as an Eleemosynary Institution. 14
Encounter between Charlotte Lee Weyland, a Landlady’s Agent, and Doctor Queed, a Young Man who would n’t pay his Board. 25
Relating how Two Stars in their Courses fought for Mr. Queed; and how he accepted Remunerative Employment under Colonel Cowles, the Military Political Economist. 40
Selections from Contemporary Opinions of Mr. Queed; also concerning Henry G. Surface, his life and Deeds; of Fifi, the Landlady’s Daughter, and how she happened to look up Altruism in the Dictionary. 51
Autobiographical Data imparted, for Sound Business Reasons, to a Landlady’s Agent; of the Agent’s Other Title, etc. 64
xviIn which an Assistant Editor, experiencing the Common Desire to thrash a Proof-Reader, makes a Humiliating Discovery; and of how Trainer Klinker gets a Pupil the Same Evening. 79
Formal Invitation to Fifi to share Queed’s Dining-Room (provided it is very cold upstairs); and First Outrage upon the Sacred Schedule of Hours. 93
Of Charles Gardiner West, President-Elect of Blaines College, and his Ladies Fair: all in Mr. West’s Lighter Manner. 104
Of Fifi on Friendship, and who would be sorry if Queed died; of Queed’s Mad Impulse, sternly overcome; of his Indignant Call upon Nicolovius, the Old Professor. 114
Concerning a Plan to make a Small Gift to a Fellow-Boarder, and what it led to in the Way of Calls; also touching upon Mr. Queed’s Dismissal from the Post, and the Generous Resolve of the Young Lady, Charles Weyland. 127
More Consequences of the Plan about the Gift, and of how Mr. Queed drinks his Medicine like a Man; Fifi on Men, and how they do; Second Corruption of The Sacred Schedule. 137
“Taking the Little Doctor Down a Peg or Two”: as performed for the First and Only Time by Sharlee Weyland. 146
In which Klinker quotes Scripture, and Queed has helped Fifi with her Lessons for the Last Time. 163
xviiIn a Country Churchyard, and afterwards, of Friends: how they take your Time while they live, and then die, upsetting your Evening’s Work; and what Buck Klinker saw in the Scriptorium at 2 A.M. 174
Triumphal Return of Charles Gardiner West from the Old World; and of how the Other World had wagged in his Absence. 186
A Remeeting in a Cemetery: the Unglassed Queed who loafed on Rustic Bridges; of the Consequences of failing to tell a Lady that you hope to see her again soon. 200
Of President West of Old Blaines College, his Trustees and his Troubles; his Firmness in the Brown-Jones Hazing Incident so misconstrued by Malicious Asses; his Article for the Post, and why it was never printed: all ending in West’s Profound Dissatisfaction with the Rewards of Patriotism. 216
The Little House on Duke of Gloucester Street; and the Beginning of Various Feelings, Sensibilities, and Attitudes between two Lonely Men. 239
Meeting of the Post Directors to elect a Successor to Colonel Cowles; Charles Gardiner West’s Sensible Remarks on Mr. Queed; Mr. West’s Resignation from Old Blaines College, and New Consecration to the Uplift. 248
Queed sits on the Steps with Sharlee, and sees Some Old Soldiers go marching by. 257
xviiiIn which Professor Nicolovius drops a Letter on the Floor, and Queed conjectures that Happiness sometimes comes to men wearing a Strange Face. 274
Of the Bill for the Reformatory, and its Critical Situation; of West’s Second Disappointment with the Rewards of Patriotism; of the consolation he found in the most Charming Resolve in the World. 290
Sharlee’s Parlor on Another Evening; how One Caller outsat Two, and why; also, how Sharlee looked in her mirror for a Long Time, and why. 300
Recording a Discussion about the Reformatory between Editor West and his Dog-like Admirer, the City Boss; and a Briefer Conversation Between West and Prof. Nicolovius’s Boarder. 312
In which Queed forces the Old Professor’s Hand, and the Old Professor takes to his Bed. 330
Sharlee Weyland reads the Morning Post; of Rev. Mr. Dayne’s Fight at Ephesus and the Telephone Message that never came; of the Editor’s Comment upon the Assistant Editor’s Resignation, which perhaps lacked Clarity; and of how Eight Men elect a Mayor. 345
How Words can be like Blows, and Blue Eyes stab deep; how Queed sits by a Bedside and reviews his Life; and how a Thought leaps at him and will not down. 363
xixIn which Queed’s Shoulders can bear One Man’s Roguery and Another’s Dishonor, and of what these Fardels cost him: how for the Second Time in his Life he stays out of Bed to think. 375
Death of the Old Professor, and how Queed finds that his List of Friends has grown; a Last Will and Testament; Exchange of Letter among Prominent Attorneys, which unhappily proves futile. 387
God moves in a Mysterious Way: how the Finished Miss Avery appears as the Instrument of Providence; how Sharlee sees her Idol of Many Years go toppling in the Dust, and how it is her Turn to meditate in the Still Watches. 397
Second Meeting between a Citizen and the great Pleasure-Dog Behemoth, involving Plans for Two New Homes. 416
446Questions and Topics for Study
454Questions and Topics for Review and Discussion
457457Questions from Recent College Entrance Examinations