THIS story tells that once upon a time there were three thieves faring together, who had robbed many people, both church folk and lay. One of these thieves was named Travers, but though he was in the company of two robbers, yet he was not altogether such as they. They, indeed, were thieves by descent as well as by choice, for their father was hanged for his misdeeds. The one was called Haimet, and the other Barat, but which was the more cunning workman at his trade it would be hard to tell.
The three companions were passing one day through a high and leafy wood, when Haimet spied a magpie’s nest hidden within an oak. He went beneath the tree, and his sharp eyes quickly perceived that the bird was sitting upon her eggs. This thing he showed to Travers, and afterwards to his brother.
“Friends,” said he, “would not he be a good thief who might take these eggs, and so softly descend the tree that the magpie knew nought thereof?”
“There is no man in the wood who can do such a feat,” answered Barat.
“Certes, there is such a man,” said Haimet, “and you shall see him at his task, if you will only look at me.”
Haimet set hands upon the oak, and climbed lightly up the great tree, as one who had no fear to fall. He came to the nest, and parting the straw softly from beneath, drew forth the eggs coyly and delicately. Then he descended to the ground with 162 a merry heart, and addressing himself to his comrades, showed the eggs he had stolen.
“Friends,” said he, “here are the eggs, ready for boiling upon a fire!”
“Truly,” said Barat, “no man’s fingers are nimbler than yours, and if you can only return the eggs to the nest, why I will own freely that you are the most cunning thief of us all.”
“Certes,” answered Haimet, “they shall be set again beneath the bird, and not a shell of them all shall be broken.”
So he came again to the oak, and mounted swiftly into the tree, hand over hand. Now he had gone but a little way when Barat hastened to the tree, and climbed therein even more lightly and surely than his brother. He followed him secretly from branch to branch, for Haimet was intent upon his task, and gave no thought to those he had left below. Then, whilst Haimet returned the eggs to the rifled nest, he stole the very breeches from his legs, and forthwith descended to the ground. When Travers saw this he was sick at heart, because he knew well he might never do such feats as these. Presently Haimet came down to his companions, and said —
“Friends, how seems it to you? Fingers like mine should pick up a good living.”
“I know not how it looks to me,” answered Barat. “Your fingers are quick enough, but your brains must be very dull, since they cannot procure you even hosen for your legs.”
“Yes, truly, I have hosen and those altogether new, for it was but the other day I laid hands upon the cloth, and they reach to my very ankles.”
“Are they so long as that?” said Barat; “shew them to us, and hide them not away.”
Then Haimet lifted his tunic and stared upon his legs, for he was without breeches.
163“Lord!” said he, “how can this have chanced? Where, then, are my hosen?”
“I do not think that you have any, fair fellow,” said Travers. “There is no such thief as Barat, from here to Nevers, or so it seems to me. Cunning indeed is the thief who can steal from a thief. But for my part I am not meant for your trade, for I cannot spell even its A B C. A hundred times should I be taken in my simplicity, where you would escape by guile. I will return to my own village where I was married to my wife. Mad must I have been to forsake it to become a thief. I am neither fool nor idler, and know well how to toil in the fields, to winnow and reap. With the help of God I am yet strong enough to gain my bread, so I go my way, and commend you to God His keeping.”
So Travers parted from the company of the two thieves, and travelled by hill and dale till he came at last to his own country. His comely wife, Dame Maria, bore him no grudge for his absence, but welcomed his return with much joy, as was her husband’s due. He settled down amongst his friends and acquaintances, and earned his living honestly and well. He prospered greatly, so that he had enough and to spare, both of this and of that. Now, towards Christmas, Travers killed a pig which he had fattened all the year. He hung the bacon from a rafter of his house, but better had he done, and much trouble would he have escaped, had he sold it in the village, as you will see who read this story.
On a day when Travers was cutting fagots within a coppice, Haimet and Barat, seeking what they might find, lighted on his house, and found Dame Maria spinning at her wheel. Then said these rogues whose business it was to cozen the simple —
“Dame, where is your husband?”
164“Gentles,” answered she, unknowing of these cheats, “he is in the wood, gathering fagots for the fire.”
“May God prosper his work,” said they devoutly.
So they seated themselves, and looked about the house, high and low, at larder and hearth-stone, in every nook and corner. Presently Barat, raising his head, saw the side of bacon hanging from the rafters. He drew the attention of Haimet to the meat, saying —
“Travers pains himself greatly to hide this bacon in his room. He fears lest we should live a little at his cost, or taste his savoury meat. Yet taste we will, if so we may.”
Then they took their leave, and going a short distance, hid themselves behind a hedge, where each set to work upon the sharpening of a stake.
When Travers returned to his home —
“Husband,” said his wife, Dame Maria, “two men have sought you who frightened me greatly, for I was alone in the house, and they would not tell me their business. They were mean and shifty to look upon, and there is not a thing in all the room that they have not taken stock of — not the bacon, nor anything else — knife, reaping-hook, nor axe, for their eyes were in every place at once.”
Well I know who they are and what they want of me,” said Travers, “for they have seen me often. We have lost our bacon, I promise you, since Barat and Haimet have come to seek it for themselves. It is no purpose that we have cured it in the smoke, of that I am very sure. In an evil hour I killed my pig, and certainly it were better to have sold it last Saturday when I was able.”
“Husband,” answered the wife, “if you take the 165 bacon down from the ceiling, perchance these thieves may not find it when they come.”
Therefore, because of the importunity of his wife, Travers mounted on a stool and cut the cord, so that the bacon fell upon the floor. But not knowing where to bestow the meat, they let it remain even where it had fallen, having first covered it with the vessel in which they kneaded their bread. Then, sad at heart, they went to bed to take what rest they might.
When the night was come, those who were so desirous of the bacon came to the house, and with their stakes made a hole in the wall near to the threshold, a hole so large that you might have trundled a mill-stone therein. Thereby they entered softly, and groped warily about the house. Now Barat went from stool to table till he came beneath the rafter from whence the bacon hung. He knew by touch that the cord was severed, and he whispered in his brother’s ear that he had not found the meat, “But,” said the thief, “Travers is a fool if he thinks to conceal it for long.”
Then they listened in the darkness of the room to the breathing of those upon the bed.
Travers did not dare to sleep, and finding that his wife was becoming drowsy, roused her, saying —
“Wife, this is no time for sleep. I shall go about the house to see that all is fast.”
“Do not leave me,” answered the wife.
But Travers, who was a prudent man, rose from his bed to make sure of all his goods. He came to the kneading trough, and raising it a little from the ground, felt the bacon safely beneath. Then taking a great axe in his hand he went out to visit his cow in her byre.
Barat came swiftly to the bed, like the bold and cunning thief he was.
166“Marion,” said he, “fair sister, I have a certain thing to ask you, but dare not do so, for fear you think me mad.”
“That I will never deem you, husband, by St. Paul; but I will counsel you to the best of my power.”
“I slept so soundly that I cannot remember where we bestowed the bacon yester night, so bemused am I with dreams.”
“God help you husband, to find more seasonable jests; is it not hid beneath the bin upon the floor?”
“In God’s name, sister, you speak truly, and I will go to feel if it is yet there.”
Being desirous to keep his word Barat lifted the trough, and drew forth the bacon. Then he rejoined Haimet, who was near by, and the two thieves hastened towards the coppice, making much of each other because of the success of their trick.
Now Travers returned to his bed, first carefully fastening his doors.
“Certes,” said his wife, “dazed you must have been to ask me what had become of our bacon.”
“God help me,” cried Travers, “when did I ask you this question?”
“Why, but now, husband.”
“Sister, our bacon has walked off. Never shall we see it more, unless I may steal it from these thieves. But they are the most cunning robbers in all the land.”
Travers went out forthwith in quest of the rogues who had carried off his bacon. He took a short cut through a field of wheat, and following the path very swiftly, presently found himself between the tricksters and the wood. Haimet was very near to cover, but Barat went more heavily, seeing that his load was right heavy. So Travers, being 167 anxious to take his own again, quickened his steps, and coming to him said —
“Give it to me, for you are weary, seeing you have carried it so long a road. Sit down now, and take a little rest.”
Barat, thinking that he had met with Haimet, gladly placed the bacon on the shoulders of Travers, and went his way. But Travers turned him back to his own house, and hastened towards his home by the nearest path. Now Barat, deeming that Haimet followed after, ran towards the wood until he overtook his brother. When he knew him again he had great fear, because he thought him behind. But when Haimet saw him stagger, he cried out, “Let me bear the bacon for a while. I think it little likely that I shall fall beneath its weight, as you are near to do. Certainly you are overdone.”
“God give me health,” answered Barat, “for Travers has made a fool of us. It is he who carries his bacon on his own shoulders. But the game is not finished yet, and I have yet a throw to make.”
Travers proceeded on his way in quietness and peace, as one who had nought to fear from any man. But Barat, wet with haste, overtook him in the end. He had taken off his shirt and wrapped it about his head like a coif, and as much as he was able bore himself in the semblance of a woman.
“Alas,” cried he, “very nearly am I dead by reason of the loss and mischief dealt me by these wicked men. God, what has become of my husband, who has suffered so many things at their hands?”
Thinking that his wife was speaking to him, Travers held forth the bacon.
“Sister,” said he, “God is yet above the Devil. You see we have again our own.”
Then he, who never thought to lay hands upon the meat, seized it greedily.
168“Do not wait for me, husband, but get to bed as quickly as you can, for now you may sleep without any fear.”
So Travers returned to his own house, and Barat hastened to his brother, bearing the bacon with him.
When Travers found his wife in tears —
“Certes, Mary,” said he, “all this has come upon us by reason of our sins. I thought to charge your shoulders with our bacon in the garden, but now I know well that these rogues have bestowed it upon theirs. Heavens, I wonder where he learned to play the part of a woman so bravely in manner and in speech! Hard is the lesson I am set to learn in school, because of a flitch of bacon. But, please God, I will find them this night, yea, though I walk till I have no sole to my shoe, and supplant them yet.”
Travers took the path leading to the wood, and entering in the coppice, saw the red blaze of a fire which these two thieves had litten. He heard their voices lifted in dispute, so he concealed himself behind an oak, and listened to their words. At the end Barat and Hamlet agreed that it were better to eat the bacon forthwith, lest a new cast of the dice should go against them. Whilst they went to seek dry cones and brushwood for the fire, Travers crept privily to the oak beneath which it was burning. But the wood was damp and green, so that more smoke and smother came from that fire than flame. Then Travers climbed into a tree, and by the aid of bough and branch came at last to the place where he would be. The two thieves returned presently with cones and brambles. These they threw upon the fire in handfuls, saying that very soon it would grill their bacon, and Travers hearkened to their speech. He had stripped himself to his shirt, and hung from a limb of the oak by his arm. Now in a while, Haimet lifted his eyes to 169 the tree, and saw above him the hanged man, tall, grotesque and horrible to see, naked in his very shirt.
“Barat,” whispered he, “our father is spying upon us. Behold him hanging from this branch in a very hideous fashion. Surely it is he come back to us, is it not?”
“God help me,” cried Barat, “it seems to me that he is about to fall.”
Then because of their fear the two thieves fled from that place, without leisure to eat, or to bear away, the bacon they had stolen.
When Travers marked their flight he tarried no longer in the oak, but taking his bacon, returned straightway to his house, with none to give him nay. His wife praised him to his face, saying —
“Husband, you are welcome home, for you have proven your worth. Never did there live a braver man than you.”
“Sister,” said he, “take wood from the cellar, and make a fire. Certainly we must eat our bacon, if we would call it our own.”
Dame Maria lighted a fire with fagots upon the hearth; she put water in the cauldron, and hung it on the hook above the fire. Travers for his part carefully cut the bacon for which he had suffered so great trouble, and put it in the pot till all was full. When this was done —
“Fair sister,” said he, “watch by the fire, if you can keep awake. I have not slept this night, and will rest a little on the bed. But I will not take off my clothes, because I still am troubled of these thieves.”
“Husband,” answered she, “ill luck go with them. Sleep soundly and in peace, for there is none to do you wrong.”
So Dame Maria kept vigil whilst Travers slept, for very greatly had he need of rest.
170During this time Barat lamented in the wood, for well he knew, when he found the bacon gone, that Travers had played this trick upon them.
“Certes,” said he, “we have lost the meat because of our fearful hearts, and it belongs to Travers by right of courage. A good breakfast he will make, for he deems that none can take it from him. He will look upon us as dirt, if we leave it in his hands. Let us got to his house and mark where he has bestowed it.”
The two thieves hastened to the door of Travers’ house. Barat set his eye to a crevice therein, and saw a sight which gave him little joy, for the pot was boiling upon the fire.
“Haimet,” said he, “the bacon is cooking, and much I grieve that there is none for us.”
“Let it boil in peace till it is fit for eating,” answered Haimet. “I shall not give Travers quittance in this matter till he has paid me the wages for my toil.”
Haimet sought a long stake which he cut from a hazel tree, and sharpened it with his knife. Then he climbed upon the roof of the house, and uncovered a little space above the spot where the cauldron boiled upon the fire. Through this opening he could see the wife of Travers sound asleep, for she was weary of her vigil, and nodded over the hearth. Haimet lowered the rod, which he had sharpened like a dart, and struck it in the pot so adroitly that he drew forth a portion of the bacon from out the cauldron. This he raised cunningly to the roof, and had great joy of his fishing. Then awoke Travers from his sleep, and saw this thing, and marked the thief, who was both malicious and strong.
“Gossip, upon my roof,” said he, “it is not reasonable of you to strip the covering from over my head. In this manner we shall never come to 171 an end. Climb down; let us give and take. Let each of us have his share of bacon.”
So Haimet descended from the roof, and the bacon was taken from the cauldron. Dame Maria divided the meat into three portions, for the thieves had no care to let Travers part the lots. The two brothers took two portions, and Travers one; but his was not the best, for all that he had nourished the pig.
For this reason was the proverb made, oh, gentles, that “Bad is the company of thieves.”
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