·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·
From The Humorous Poetry of the English Language from Chaucer to Saxe, with Notes, Explanatory and Biographical, by James Parton; Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1884; pp. 646-647.
[667]COMPOSED WHILE STANDING WITHIN 2 FEET OF HIM, AND A
TOUCHIN' OF HIM NOW AND THEN.
ALL hale ! thou mighty annimil — all hale !
You are 4 thousand pounds, and am purty wel
Peporshund, thou tremenjos boveen nuggit !
I wonder how big you was wen you
Wos little, and if yure mother wud no you now
That you ’ve grone so long, and thick, and phat ;
Or if yure father would rekognize his offspring
And his kaff, thou elefanteen quodrupid !
I wonder if it hurts you mutch to be so big,
And if you grode it in a month or so.
I spose wen you wos young tha did n’t gin
You skim milk but all the kreme you kud stuff
Into your little stummick, jest to see
How big yude gro ; and afterward tha no doubt
Fed you on otes and ha and sich like,
With perhaps an occasional punkin or squosh !
In all probability yu don’t no yure enny
Bigger than a small kaff; for if you did,
Yude brake down fences and switch your tail,
And rush around, and hook, and beller,
And run over fowkes, thou orful beast,
O, what a lot of mince pize yude maik,
And sassengers, and your tale,
Whitch kan’t wa fur from phorty pounds,
Wud maik nigh unto a barrel of ox-tail soop,
And cudn’t a heep of stakes be cut oph yu,
Whitch, with salt and pepper and termater
Ketchup, wouldn’t be bad to taik.
Thou grate and glorious inseckt !
But I must klose, O most prodijus reptile !
And for mi admirashun of yu, when yu di,
I’le rite a node unto yore peddy and remanes,
Pernouncin’ yu the largest of yure race ;
And as I don't expect to have a half of dollar
Agin to spare for to pa to look at yu, and as
I ain’t a ded head, I will sa, farewell.
·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·)(·