From Slams of Life, with Malice for All And Charity Towards None Assembled in Rhyme by J. P. McEvoy, with black and white interruptions by Frank King, Chicago : P. F. Volland Company; 1919; pp. 1-9.
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[front-matter]
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SLAMS OF LIFE
With Malice for All And Charity
Towards None
Assembled in Rhyme by
J. P. McEVOY
With black and white interruptions by
FRANK KING
Published by
P. F. VOLLAND COMPANY.
NEW YORK CHICAGO TORONTO
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Copyright 1919
P. F. Volland Company
Chicago, U. S. A.
(All rights reserved)
Fourth Edition
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In Which the Author Introduces Himself in a Few Well-chosen Words.
I WOULD have had these verses published long ago except for the difficulty of finding someone who would write them. Finally I submitted the job to my favorite author who readily agreed to write the verses. I think he has done very well indeed.
But, perhaps, I am prejudiced in his favor. It would be plausible for I have known him ever since we were children together. What a cunning, precocious child he was! At the age of twelve years he knew nearly all of the alphabet and could count up to six with almost perfect ease.
When he was fifteen he could make change, but since then has had little opportunity to make use of this valuable knowledge.
He celebrated his twenty-first birthday by completing a correspondence school course on the Slide Trombone. It was an easy step from that to the writing of humorous verses.
Owing to the carelessness of proper authorities, he met a publisher. This book is the result of that meeting.
It is useless for me to attempt to enumerate the many remarkable features of this book, therefore I shall do so. In the first place you will notice how each page follows the preceding one. This is planned so you can skip around more easily. Secondly, this book contains nearly all the punctuation marks now used in our best broad-A society. Compare the punctuation marks in this book with those in any other, no matter what the price.
Another splendid feature: each sentence ends with a period. The publishers are to be congratulated for insisting upon sufficient periods despite the fact the cost of first class periods has increased three hundred per cent on account of the peace. It was necessary to import
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each period and some of them had very narrow escapes, indeed. However, it is with pride the publishers and I assure you each period is of full size and guaranteed not to shrink or lose its color.
Most of these verses, I understand, have appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers who are to be congratulated upon their good taste, but who may not be mentioned here because of the obnoxious publicity which would accrue to them thereby. The author tells me that he has had great difficulty in keeping these magazines and newspapers pacified. They hound him day and night for his imperishable work and he spends a miserable existence tossing little hunks to first one and then the other, as they feed fish to the seals in the circus.
There are some verses included which have never before seen the light of day. The author says they are good. We shall see.
Acknowledgements are made to Noah Webster for the use of some of his words.
My favorite author upon completeing the collection of these verses asked me to write this foreword. As he modestly put it; “I know of no one who could possibly do it half so well.”
I believe the man’s right!
J. P. McEVOY.
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This book is dedicated
to
My Wife’s Brother Raymond’s Sister
Friend Wife (Herself).