“Sayings, Wise and Otherwise,” (also in the “The Sayings of Dr. Bushwhacker and Other Wise Men”) by Frederic S. Cozzens; American Book Exchange, New York; 1880; pp. 106-108.
JUST opened, with 100,000 Curiosities, and performance in Lecter Room; among which may be found
Seen opens. Distant Moon. View of Bey of Napels. A thin smoke rises. It is the Beginning of the Eruction! The Napels folk begin to travel. Yaller fire, follered by silent thunder. Awful consternation. Suthin rumbles!. It is the Mounting preparin’ to Expectorate! They call upon the Fire Department. It’s no use! Flight of stool-pidgeons. A cloud of impenetrable smoke hang over the fated city, through witch the Naplers are seen makin’ tracks. Awful explosion of bulbs, kurbs, torniquets, pin weels, serpentiles, and terrapins! The Moulting Laver begins to squash out!
The Parochial Beedle Mr. Mullet.
Live Injun Mr. Mullet.
Signor Vermicelli Mr. Mullet.108
Laffin Highena Mr. Mullet.
Bey of Napels voluminated by Gondola Lites. The lava gushes down. Through the some is seen the city in a state of conflagration. The last family ! “Whar is our parents?” A red hot stone of eleving tuns weight falls onto ’em. The bearheaded father falls scentless before the statoo of the Virgin ! Denumong !!
Maroon Bulbs, changing to a spiral weel, witch changes to the Star of our Union: after, to butiful p’ints of red lites; to finish with busting into
During the performance a No. of Popular Airs will be performed on the Scotch Fiddle and Bag-pipes, by a real Highlander.
Real Highlander Mr. Mullet.
Any boy making a muss, will be injected to once’t.
As the Museum is Temperance, no drinkin’ aloud, but anyone will find the best of lickers in the Sloon below.